Makas Bechoros was the last and harshest maka of all. This plague was unique in that only the firstborn Egyptians died. Why were the firstborn punished more than the others? Were the firstborn Mitzriyim more wicked? If you say that the firstborns were targeted because Pharaoh was himself a firstborn, that can’t be because we know that Pharaoh didn’t die from the maka. On the contrary, Hashem kept him alive so he should witness all the miracles of the Yam Suf. If so, why were only the bechorim punished in this maka?
We know that there is a custom for bechorim to fast on Erev Pesach for the miracle of being saved from Makas Bechoros, implying that the maka should have been on the firstborn of the Jews as well. That’s why Hashem instructed the yidden to put blood on their door post and lintel, so they should be saved from this maka. We don’t find that the yidden needed to be saved from the other makos. Why was this maka different than the other makos that it should have been for the Jews as well?
There is a custom that on Erev Pesach the bechorim make a siyum and eat a seudas mitzva or they join in someone else’s siyum; it’s done in order that they shouldn’t have to fast. The Mishna Berura 470:10 says that even if the bechor himself didn’t make a siyum he can eat by joining someone else’s siyum. Why is it the custom to be so lenient with this fast? If Chazal instituted this fast, why are we looking for a way to exempt ourselves from fasting? And we don’t find anyone who differs from this minhag; it sounds like it can be done l’chatchila. Why?
The Rema (470:2) tells us that when there is a minor who is a bechor, if his father is also a bechor then the mother fasts instead of her son, and if the father is not a bechor then the father fasts. This is done until the child turns bar mitzvah. What is the meaning behind this custom? When a child is a minor, he doesn’t have to fast and nobody fasts instead of him. If the point is to remember that the bechor was saved from makas bechoros, why would it help to have the mother or father fast instead?
Rav Druk says in sefer Aish Tamid that the main derech of chinuch is by personal example. At times your child is not behaving the way he should and you try to bring him back on the right path. If you attempt to accomplish that by yelling and rebuking him – it’s not going to work. And if it does, it will only last for a short period of time. Most times it won’t work even for a short amount of time. The best way of chinuch is to teach by example. The child sees how the father or rebbe behaves and he will learn from their actions. This is the most effective and long-lasting tool in chinuch.
Who influences the home? The bechor, the eldest child, has the strongest effect on his siblings. Of course, children look up to their parents as role models, but even more than that, they will seek the approval of their oldest sibling. We see in so many families that when the oldest child follows the right path, the rest of the children will usually follow suit, and the opposite is true too. The bechor is the symbol and the foundation for how the home will look because everyone looks up to him.
If that’s the case, that’s why the firstborn Mitzriyim were punished more than the others. They all looked up to the older brother, he was the role model. and if that’s what the older brother did, they just followed and did the same. That’s why the bechor received a punishment more than the rest of them.
Now, there was a claim against the yidden in Mitzrayim as well. The angels complained to Hashem by kriyas yam suf that the yidden were also serving avoda zara and they also deserved to get punished. And the claim was specifically on the bechorim of klal Yisroel, since they influenced the rest of klal Yisroel. The firstborn had a responsibility to set a good example and since they didn’t, the angels wished to destroy them. But Hashem wanted to save the bechorim so he gave them a mitzva to put blood on the mashkof and two mezuzos.
Now we understand why there is a custom to fast, because the bechorim have a tremendous achrayus and they have to realize the responsibility they have. It’s a time to make a cheshbon hanefesh and live as a role model for the rest of their siblings. That’s also the reason why they make a siyum on a masechta, because they want to show their brothers what is important to them.
We can also understand what the Rema says, that if the bechor is a minor then the father or mother fasts for him. If the bechor is a minor, then his power of influence is much less and the main influence for the home will be from the father and mother. It’s their responsibility to set the tone in the home.
Surely, if you are a firstborn, this lesson hits home and prompts you to behave accordingly. Yet to all those non-bechorim, you aren’t free from this responsiblity. The achrayis of a yid is constant, no matter your place in the family. As Jews, we are constantly in the limelight, setting an example for the world at large and for all those who we come in contact with. Let us remember to be the light unto the nations that we were chosen to be. Chag Kosher V’sameach!
