The Metzora must remain outside the city, and he may not be together with anyone else. His punishment is Midda K'neged Midda. Just as he doesn’t respect others, and appreciate the Chevra, so must he be removed from them. הֶפֶס אֵינוֹ נֶאֱכַל אֶלָּא בְּחַבּוּרָה The Korban Pesach is eaten with a Chabura (group). We see how important it is to be part of everyone else, and when you speak Lashon Hara, you are “out of the club”. People who have a glib tongue and schmooze: דִּבּוּרִים אֲסוּרִים forbidden speech may appear popular; but the opposite is true.
Notice how from the: אַרְבָּעָה בָּנִים four sons, the Rasha is a: הוֹצִיא אֶת עַצְמוֹ מִן הַכְּלָל person who has removed himself from society, and therefore he forfeits his privilege as being part of it. Similar to the Baal Lashon Hara (Metzora) his punishment is Midda K'neged Midda: אִלּוּ הָיָה שָׁם לֹא הָיָה נִגְאָל he is excluded from the Geula. Michal bas Shaul was twice called: עֶגְלָה אֵשֶׁת דָּוִד (Shmuel II 3:5, Divrei Hayamim I 15:29) since she was so beloved by Dovid. But as soon as she criticized him for dancing without enough dignity, she was called Michal bas Shaul.
When she doesn’t appreciate Dovid, and she prefers instead her father’s Derech, she loses the name: עֶגְלָה אֵשֶׁת דָּוִד “Egla, the wife of Dovid”, and becomes “Bas Shaul”. As a result of this criticism, she never had children from Dovid. When you call yourself a Ben-Torah from a certain Yeshiva, then you are part of them; and when they will be Zoche to special Schar (in Olam HaZeh or Olam HaBah) then you are also an entitled member. But as soon as you distance yourself, or start criticizing, then you lose; and when someday this Olam gets rewarded, you aren’t there, Chas V'shalom. How important it is to feel part of Klal Yisroel, including some groups that you may feel are not on your caliber.
Nobody knows the extent of the value of Ruchaniyus. You don’t have to keep Minhagim which aren’t yours, but you need to respect all kinds, even if they are very different from you. Then you are part of them and you love them, and will enjoy being part of their greatness. What a poison it is to have: בִּיטוּל belittling and a criticism for a Yachid (individual person) and/or a Klal (group). Beware! The Yetzer Hara is super powerful in this area.
R’ Chaim Kanievsky Zatzal once told me that he likes a certain Chassidic group which is very different than his Shitos. We view them as us! We don’t compete, Chas V'shalom! We are happy with Satmar’s, Belzer’s, Sephardim, Brisker’s, etc. success; it is OUR Hatzlacha when they produce good things (in Torah and Chesed etc.) for Klal Yisroel. We don’t have: צְרוּת עַיִן i.e., not Fargining, Chas V'shalom (with secret envy). We at least make believe that we Fargin, and we want them to have more and more Hatzlacha!
This is unusually important, and the Geula Shleima depends on working on this. It shouldn’t be just a side line. All kinds of Tzaros come from lack of unity, whether in heart or in action. Similarly, a person should constantly appreciate his own Maalos, and not be alienated from them. If you aren’t appreciating your own Maalos, then you may be losing your very self, Chas V'shalom. So many of us are gold mines in disguise, and we never become what we really are.
Anava P'sula destroys so many of our latent abilities. Our minds are loaded with so much admiration and envy for others, that we can lose out and never become the Adam Gadol that we really are, Chas V'shalom. When a Tzaddik is Niftar and goes up to Olam HaBah, he remembers his name; a Rasha forgets. The Tzaddik knew who he was, and therefore he became great, unlike the Rasha.
While a person is still alive, he is constantly being tested, to see if he forgets who he really is or not. Just like being M'vazeh others is detrimental, so is being M'vazeh yourself a form of suicide, Chas V'shalom. The experts say not to be afraid of exaggerating your greatness.
