My teacher told me I'd never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much.
I said, "Oh, yeah? Just you wait!"
Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author Laughter is the Best Medicine: Kosher and Jewish jokes for the whole family, 1 & 2, and Jewish joke book for kids available on Amazon.
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A crossing guard
The letter H
As part of a class project, the teacher had every student create a model rocket. When she was teaching them about how the rockets lift into the air, some kids seemed to be confused. She scolded them yelling, "It's not that hard! It's not rocket science!"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Yitzchak; he's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michoel; he's a doctor.'"
A voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; she's dead."
A teacher sees a student entering the classroom. His hands are very dirty.
He stops him and says, "Yanky, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?"
Smiling, the boy replies, "I think I would be too polite to mention it."
Teacher: You were late again. Why did you get to class after me?
Student: My father told me that I should let the grownups go in first.
