As my situation began to improve, I experienced much improvement in this area. Yud Tes and Chof Kislev I was able to start off my day, both days, learning the maamar “Posach Eliyahu” (which was itself a miracle and uplifting...).
The (main) miracle was that – although I have already learned the maamar a number of times in the past – this time, for the first time, I (think that I) understood the first word of the maamar!
Before I share that with you, I want to preface: In another maamar (השקיפה), the Rebbe brings a question in the name of the Rebbe Maharash: We know that ציון is a higher level than ירושלים (ציון is the pnimiyus of ירושלים), and shem Havaya is higher than shem Elokim. Why, then, in the Possuk שבחי ירושלים את ה' הללי אלקיך ציון is the word “ציון” connected with Elokim, and Yerusholayim with Havaya? The Rebbe adds, that ירושלים is the highest level of יראה תתאה (which is bitul hayesh, and results from thinking about the Eibishter the way He relates with olamos, which, in general, is the name Elokim), and ציון is the level of יראה עילאה (or bitul bemehus, which results from sensing the level of Elokus that is above olamos, higher than hishtalshelus, which, in general, is shem Havaya). It is puzzling, therefore, that in this Possuk Yerusholayim is associated with the name Havaya?
The answer in the maamar (to part of the question, the rest you have to look up on your own...) is that even יראה תתאה, bitul hayesh, in order to be the way that it is meant to be (שלימות היראה), needs to have some sense of the way the Eibishter Himself is above and aloof from the world. Even though the person doesn’t fully grasp it (because if he would he would no longer feel himself as a “yesh”, and would experience יראה עילאה), still, in order for (even the lower level of) his yiras shomayim to be complete, he needs to have an inkling at least, a glimpse, of the way the Eibishter Himself is 'היהוה' ויהי כאחד and completely detached from hishtalshelus.
Although the person is engulfed in the helem vehester of olam hazeh, and in general relates with the physical reality (olamos bepshitus), still he has a small window to above, through which he has some sense of the ultimate truth of Elokus bepshitus and ein od milvado.
A Story of Reb Aharon Hagodol
[Reb Aharon hagodol, one of the prominent disciples of the magid, passed away very young. His orphaned son was raised (for a while?) by the Alter Rebbe. This child was energetic and mischievous, and sometimes hard to control.
Once, the Alter Rebbe had a visitor, a respected talmid chochom, who was a descendant of the Bach. The orphan, who was not accustomed to good behaviour, was disrespectful to this guest as well. The guest was slighted, and complained to the Alter Rebbe.
The Alter Rebbe told him two stories to illustrate the greatness of the Bach, and then concluded: “Besides his greatness, your ancestor the Bach passed away many years ago, and since then he is constantly ascending to higher and higher levels in gan eden. The father of this orphan, in contrast, only passed away recently. Yet, you can trust me, the Bach would love to get a glimpse, if only through a small crevice or crack, into the chamber where the father of this child, Reb Aharon, is located”!
The maamar explains that even the person at the level of יראה תתאה, who is not able to grasp Elokus that is higher than olamos, needs to be able to at least peek, through tiny windows, cracks or crevices, into the world of Elokus bepshitus].
While learning the maamar over yud tes kislev, I experienced how the maamar is opening a window for me into a higher world, and – for that duration – was raising me to a higher existence. Which is, of course, the greatest and ultimate miracle! And helped me gain insight into the first word of the maamar:
Many of the kislev maamorim begin with the words פדה בשלום נפשי, words that describe the events of yud tes kislev, and that describe (as the maamorim explain at length) the spiritual liberation that we each experience, with our neshomo, through learning pnimiyus haTorah. This maamar, in contrast, begins with the word פתח אליהו. And, it occurred to me, that that is exactly what the maamar (and the study of chassidus in general) does for us – “posach”, the chassidus opens up a window for us to what’s higher, and thus elevates our lives and our existence to a higher plane! Which is the greatest and ultimate miracle.
So, together with my thanksgiving to the Eibishter, I’d like to urge you all to join in this awesome experience, and immerse yourself in learning chassidus. If it didn’t happen the first or second or third time that you learned the maamar, don’t give up and keep at it. Eventually, inevitably, the maamar will open up windows for you to new horizons, which will transform your life for the better! 'ויהי הלולאותו לאחרים למופת!! תודו הלל להלוך משלל ודגה לעל יסינ לעוך יתואל פנלעו יתועושי!!!!
L’chaim! May we all and always be able to hear and share besuros tovos u’mesamchos betov hanireh vehanigleh, in good health and good spirits, and may we very speedily share the ultimate good news, with the immediate hisgalus of Melech haMoshiach TUMYM, when we will have, in the third beis hamikdash, the ultimate להודות ולהלל לשמך הגדול על ניסיך ועל נפלאותיך ועל ישועותיך!!!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
לזכות שד"ב בן מרים שי', לאויוש"ט מתוך בריאות הנכונה וכט"ס בטובה הנרו הנ"ג! לזכות ר' יעקב שלמה שי' בן לאה נעכע, לרפו"ש ובריאות הנכונה ואויוש"ט! בתוך כלל שאר חולי ישראל וכל הזקוקים לרפואה, לרפו"ש ורפו"ק תומ"י ממש ממש! לזכר ולעי"נ השליחה חיל בצבאות ה' ראובן אברהם בן – יבלחט"א – הר"ר מ"מ שליט"א לעי"נ הת' מאיר יעקב פייוועלע"ה בן – יבלחט"א – ר' מרדכי שליט"א לעי"נ רה"ח והרה"ת ר' מ"מ ב"ר יהושע זעליג הכהן לעי"נ רעייתו הרבנית גאלדא ע"ה אראנאוו לעי"נ השליח ר' שמעון בן ר' מנחם שמואל דודה לוישד"ר ע"ה לעי"נ מרת לאה יהודית בת ר' יהושע ע"ה ולעי"נ כל אלו שהלכו לעולמם לאחרונה, שישתדלו שמה להחיש תומ"י ממש את הגאולה האמיתית והשלימה.
