It seems odd that the first 30 years of his life Dovid lived alone. His family despised him, thinking he was a Mamzer (Toras HaMincha) and they were hoping that his unsafe job (of taking care of his sheep in dangerous areas) would kill him. Yet, Dovid told Shaul HaMelech that he is ready to take on Golyas, since he already killed a lion and a bear who tried to kill his sheep.
Dovid said that as soon as the lion grabbed the sheep, he pulled it out of his mouth, and he killed the lion! What kind of recklessness is this? A normal person would run for his life, and be happy that the sheep would be eaten instead of him! But a person who lives without family support, like Dovid, learns to be totally dependent on Hashem.
And he has a totally different Shulchan Aruch. He doesn’t have the normal warmth, love, and support that families and friends are supposed to give, and he becomes alone with One support; the: Creator of the world! He’s Mamash in his own world, and he can have a high level of Bitachon since his sole support in life is Hashem Himself!
Middas HaHish'tavus: “You Can Hate Me or Love Me - By Me It’s All the Same”
No wonder Dovid had no interest in defending himself to his older brother, Eliav. He doesn’t need Eliav’s support, Kavod, and recognition, since Eliav was never a source of strength in Dovid’s life; only Hashem. (By the way, he could have also told Eliav how he was Davka unusually caring for the sheep, since he risked his life to save one little sheep!)
When Dovid was Maspid Shaul and Yonasan, he said one Hesped on both, even though Shaul was Mamash his worst enemy and Yonasan his very best friend. We can suggest that he was being M'ramez that they were both the same in his life. A true Melech, i.e., someone who is “higher” than Olam HaZeh, has Middas HaHish'tavus (it is: שָ וֶה “equal” to him if people praise him or criticize him). “You can hate me or love me. By me it’s all the same”.
Like the Chovos Halvavos says in Shaar HaBitachon: אֵ ין הַ תוֹעֶ לֶ ת וְהַ נֶזֶק מִ ן הַ נִ בְ רָ א אֶ לָ א מִ ן הַ בוֹרֵ א (People cannot help or harm you; only Hashem can). Just as Eliav and people in general meant nothing to Dovid because he was totally: יַ בְ ד ה' in the hands of Hashem, so does he view a ferocious lion, as a total zero who has no real power! And this is why he killed Golyas the giant so easily!
Try To Make an Impression ONLY On Hashem, Not on People
Instead of depending on family and friends, it’s preferable to be close to Hashem. Notice how Dovid was always loaded with enemies, and even betrayal on the part of Klal Yisroel. They ridicule him, desert him, and are disloyal to him. His life has one chain of the worst enemies; Avner, Shaul, Avshalom, Sheva ben Bichri, Shim'i ben Gera, Do'eg, Achitofel; it’s just unbelievable!
It seems that Hashem wanted Dovid to always be pure of the need of human approval, so he can be a true Melech who doesn’t need people. We have a lifetime to spend, trying to wean ourselves from our lust for Kavod and recognition, approval, and support of humans; and to spend loads of extra time running to Hashem.
The Me'am Lo'ez says
That there was no person who was M'vazeh himself to do Mitzvos like Dovid. Dovid was free from concern for public opinion. He was also known for loving his enemies and doing Ha'tavah B'makom Hakpada; i.e., Davka doing a favor (Ha'tavah) instead of being upset (Hakpada). With such a background of zero family support, it’s no wonder that a person can get used to trying to make an impression ONLY on Hashem and not people. (Of course, we have no Shaychus with understanding the greatness of Dovid).
