The Eved Ivri is built up so much, to the point that Chazal say: לָכּוֹמְצַﬠְל ןוֹדָא הֶנוֹקְכּ יִרְבִﬠ דֶבֶﬠ הֶנוֹקַּה קידושין כ א whoever purchases an Eved (a Jewish slave), is as if he has acquired for himself a Master. The Eved Ivri is also criticized with a hole in his ear, for being such a lowly: ָשׁ ֵפל Shafel who doesn’t respect himself. He wants to remain an Eved forever, and he forgets to be a proud Yid who heard at Har Sinai that we are only Avdei Hashem and we aren’t inferior Avadim to Bnei Adam (humans). Rabeinu Yonah says: ַה ֶפּ ַת ָה ח ִראשׁ וֹ ַל ן ַﬠבוֹ ַד ֶשׁ 'ה ת ֵי ַד ֶﬠ ע ְר כּוֹ ְו ֶﬠ ֶר ˂ ַאבוֹ ָתיו the front entrance to Avodas Hashem is to know your own greatness and the greatness of your forefathers.
Notice how the giant Parshas Mishpatim which is loaded with lessons in human nature starts with self-esteem Yesodos. And the same with Har Sinai which starts with: םיִנֲהֹכּ תֶכֶלְמַמ יִל וּיְהִתּ םֶתַּאְויט ו you are all a nation of: םיִרָשׂ princes and: הָלּוֹגְס םַﬠ a special treasure. And even by Hashem, the Az Yashir starts with: ַלּ הָריִשָׁאה' הָאָגּ הֹאָג יִכּ טו א I will sing to Hashem who has become exceedingly great. First we say that Hashem is the greatest of the great, and only afterwards do we get involved in details.
This is the way every Yid should begin his day; with a proud Shtempel. “I’m a Tzaddik, a Gaon, a Zariz”, etc. Now your day will be Gevaldig. R' Nosson Wachtfogel Zatzal used to say that the way you start your day is a big Ikar. And R' Gershon Liebman Zatzal said the same idea.
“I Love Being Good Old Mr. Zero!”
However, sometimes a person should change his Shtempel, and instead of deciding I’m a big Tzaddik or Talmid Chochom, it is sometimes much more relaxing to decide: “I’m not such a great guy! I’m a simple nobody! So I’m not the greatest father, son, Rosh Yeshiva, Chavrusa, Rebbe, businessman, G’vir, or Tzaddik. I’m Le'chatchila a Bedi'eved!”
Sometimes you breath much easier by talking like this. You take the pressure off, and you may even end up going further! “So I’m not Mr. Nice Guy; so what!” (Of course you need a Rebbe).
“So what if I’m a messy housewife, and not the big: ְמצוָּין sensation that everyone raves about! Who cares!” “I love being good old Mr. Zero!” This can Mamash be a lifesaver for many people. You can stick with your “zero” Shtempel, or change from day to day; depending on your nature and your Matzav. “I don’t have to impress the whole world!” “I love being second best, or Mr. Black sheep in the family, or Mr. Bat’lan (loafer)” (Of course you need a Rebbe).
You’d be shocked if you knew how many very Chashuva and successful people can use the above recipe for their sanity. Say: “You can be the big Gaon and Tzaddik and: ְמצוָּין prodigy and good housewife and resounding success in Ruchaniyus and/or Gashmiyus. “I” like me EXACTLY the way Hashem made me, and I put blinders on my eyes and mind my own business.”
There are two equal Lavin (prohibitions): ַבּל ףיִסוֹתּ do not add to the Mitzvos, and: ַבּל עַרְגִת do not subtract from them. Adding to a Mitzva is just as bad as detracting. The same with people. Being a drop “more” or “better” than the way Hashem made me can be a disaster! וֹקְלֶחְבּ ַחֵמָשַּׂה ריִשָׁﬠ וּהֶזיֵא Who is truly rich? One who is content with what he has. Of course, there is a time and place to decide you’re going to Shteig. But not always!
They say in the name of R’ Shlomo Wolbe Zatzal that a person needs to be wary of self-criticism and trying all kinds of Teshuva. The best Avodas Hashem is appreciating yourself!
A Powerful Story
There is a famous picture of R’ Ahron Kotler Zatzal sitting by a Gemara with his glasses on. Those who have the larger picture have R’ Shneur Kotler Zatzal standing and waving his hand and looking agitated. There were also two Gevir’im with Irving Bunim Zatzal including a well-known Mr. K. who were having a meeting about getting sorely needed money for BMG.
The Gevir’im were asking R' Ahron Zatzal to pick his head up from the Gemara in order to pose for the picture, but R' Ahron ignored them since he was totally involved in his beloved Gemara! And R' Shneur was saying to stop coaxing R' Ahron and to allow him to learn. I just heard this story: ֵﬠ ִמ ד ִפּ ֵﬠ יד from someone who heard it first-hand, in the name of one of the Gevir’im who was there.
Look what became of Lakewood! Notice how a nonchalant attitude to Hishtadlus and wholehearted Bitachon in the Melech Malchei HaMelochim HaKadosh Baruch Hu and love for His Torah can do! How it pays off to spend lots of time and Kochos in learning Torah and Bitachon, and not “worship” your Hishtadlus, Chas V'shalom, and spend all your time and Kochos and mental energy in Tevah (nature). However, everybody is different, and sometimes it’s a Mitzva to do more Hishtadlus, especially in Ruchaniyus.
The main thing is to somehow make Hashem the Ikar in your life. A practice would be to take breaks from your Hishtadlus, and be: ַמ ֲﬠ ִדיף prefer some time with Hashem.
