Beware Of Pressure (to Yourself & Others) Which Is Usually Just Redifas HaKavod
We are commanded not to give the Ger any: ץחַ לַ “Lachatz” which means restraining (RSRH) כִּי גֵרִּים הֱיִּיתֶׁם בְׁאֶׁרֶׁץ מִּצְׁרָיִּם because we were Gerim in Mitzrayim, where it says: וַיַרְׁא אֶׁת לַחֲצֵנוּ Hashem saw our “Lachatz”. Lachatz means pressure; and feeling “locked in” is the worst thing. And Chazal say: שֶׁבִּי קָשֶׁה מִּכוּלָם being locked (in captivity) is the worst predicament. This was the official: טַ ייטְׁש (definition) of the pain of Mitzrayim: ץחַ לַ pressure. And its name, “Mitzrayim” means יצַמֵר restriction, and the inability to move freely.
I once spoke to R' Don Segal Shlita about a Parnasa issue, and he warned against pressure. He held it was K'dai (worthwhile) to take risks and have Bitachon just to avoid pressure.
Surely a person shouldn’t pressure himself or his family. Frumkeit can be a pressure cooker, and can cause serious problems, Chas V'shalom.
It’s not fair to pressure people, and it’s a major Bain Adam La'chaveiro issue; i.e., when you pressure people (especially family members) sometimes you are inflicting irreversible damage. The true motive is almost always Redifas HaKavod, although you feel you are Tzaddik who is doing the biggest Mitzva.
You have no right to pressure yourself either. There are loads of Yetzer Hara’s in this, and many people can literally kill each other with this, Chas V'shalom. Some people can overcome this Yetzer Hara, but there are many who can’t. Sometimes pressure can be a Ma'ala.
Those who really can’t overcome their pressures should accept the Ratzon Hashem, and they will do quite well despite this shortcoming. Of course, lots of Tefila and Bitachon are always important.
Lachatz (pressure) is a #1 pain. The more we learn Inyanei Bitachon, the more we are Zoche to: מְנוּחַת נֶפֶשׁ הַבּו טֵחַ the tranquility of the Baal Bitachon.
