The mitzvah of prikah, to help your fellow man unload his donkey, is written in this week's parashah (23:5) עמו תעזב עזב לו מעזב וחדלת משאו תחת רבץ שנאך חמור תראה כי, "If you see the donkey of someone you hate lying under its burden would you refrain from helping him? You shall surely help along with him."
The pasuk that discusses טעינה is in (Devarim 22:4) עמו תקים הקם ...נופלים שורו או אחיך חמור את תראה לא, "You shall not see your brother's donkey, or his ox fallen... You shall pick up the load with him." Rashi writes, "This is the mitzvah of te'inah, to help load the package that fell off the donkey."
The gabaim came to Reb Yissachar Dov zt'l of Belz when he became rebbe, and they told him the names of the people his father would help financially each month. They figured that his son, Rebbe Yissachar Dov, would want to continue giving these tzedakos because when Rebbe Yissachar Dov became rebbe, he made it a point to continue the path that his father established. Rebbe Yissachar Dov reviewed the list, and he crossed out one of the names. They shouldn’t give him money anymore. He explained, "He doesn't need money, so there is no reason to support him. My father gave him money only because he once went against my father. In order to uproot any negative feelings that he might have on him, my father went to the other extreme and helped him. But this man never harmed me, so I have nothing against him. And financially, as I said, he doesn't need support, so there is no reason for me to continue sending him a monthly stipend."
His father's way of helping someone he had grievances about is the lesson we are discussing. It is את לכוף יצרו to change one's nature and love someone you might be angry at.
Someone who doesn't speak clearly, and someone who isn’t a masmid by nature. He should go against his nature and acquire good middos and good character traits. It is written in sefarim that this is done step by step. One can't expect to change immediately, but one takes one step towards improving his nature and then another step, and Hashem will help him succeed.
The Divrei Chaim zt'l is renowned for his deeds of tzedakah. He said, "If I see a poor person and I am not able to help him, I feel like my flesh is being ripped out." However, he also said that he was born with a stingy nature, and he changed it and acquired a generous nature.
When the Ahavas Yisrael of Vizhnitz zt'l was young, he was afraid, by nature. His brothers-in-law would throw a chicken at him to tease him because he feared it. During the First World War, a soldier came into his beis medresh with a rifle in his hand. The Ahavas Yisrael opened his vest in front of his heart, as if to say, "If you want to shoot, do so." He had entirely changed his nature and wasn’t fearful at all. This is because it is possible to change one's nature. Every small step in the right direction adds up until Hashem helps him, and he acquires an improved nature.
The Gemara (Bava Metzia 32) discusses the concept of יצרו לכוף, to bend and to change one's nature regarding a mitzvah stated in this week's parashah. There are two mitzvos: prikah and te'inah, which means to help your fellow man unload his donkey and to help your fellow man load his donkey.
Suppose a person sees two people struggling with their animals. One is loading his donkey, and one is unloading his donkey. Who should he help? The Gemara teaches that he should help the one unloading his animal because we must also be concerned with the pain and the distress of animals. Therefore, when we have to choose whether to unload or load an animal, we should choose to unload because, besides helping our fellow man, we also save the animal from distress.
Nevertheless, the Gemara says that if the person who is loading his animal is someone whom you hate, you should help him load the animal because, עדיף יצרו את לכוף, "It is better to overcome your yetzer hara." We must train ourselves to go against our yetzer hara and to change our human tendencies. If our tendency is to hate, we must train ourselves to love. As Noam Elimelech teaches, "Man was created in the world to change his nature."
