4. The Or HaChaim in this week's parashah (22:6) writes, "There isn't an hour or a moment that Hashem isn't doing something for a person; both for his body and for his needs."
The Tanya explains that Shimi was punished for being the shaliach, but Dovid understood that what happened was destined by Hashem's will.
When you know that everything, including what people do to you, comes from Hashem, you will not be angry with others, and you will never consider taking revenge. If it weren’t for this person, someone else would do it, so why be angry? Whatever happened was destined to be.
The Chinuch (Mitzvah 241) writes, "One of the reasons for the mitzvah of תקום לא (the prohibition against taking revenge) is so that people should take to heart that everything that happens to them, the good and the bad, was destined by Hashem. When someone harms you or causes you distress, believe that it is because of your aveiros that Hashem decreed it. Don't take revenge. Your fellow man isn't the cause of your suffering. The cause is your aveiros."
The Chozeh of Lublin zt'l (הנהגות) writes, "It is important always to remember that everything is from Hashem. As Chazal (Chulin 7:) say, 'A person doesn't hurt his finger unless it was decreed in heaven.' Even when a person is hurt by a human being with free will, this was also from Hashem. When a person lives with this emunah, it is easy for him to overcome anger because he believes with all his heart that no person can hurt or harm him."
The Chozeh adds the following: "Even when a person harms himself, it’s not because of his negligence, etc. It was destined from above. Keep these thoughts in mind, and you will always remember Hashem."
People are upset when they make a poor financial decision or do something that causes harm and heartache. The Chozeh reveals that even what he did to himself, with his own free choice, was decreed in heaven. So, don't be consumed with guilt because whatever happened, it was destined to be.
Once, Reb Michoel Ber Weismandl zt'l complained to Rebbe Yosef Yitzchak of Lubavitch (the Rayatz) zt'l that he could have saved thousands of people from the Holocaust, but evil people prevented him from succeeding. The Rebbe heard him out and then said, "And who did all of that?" In other words, who sent these evil people to impede your rescue efforts? This reminded Reb Weismandl that everything comes from Hashem, and he said that this entirely changed his perspective on what occurred.
These ideas are hinted at in this week's parashah, as it states (22:8), יאמר אשר אבידה כל על זה הוא כי. Devarim Achadim (p.11) explains, אשר יאמר, people say, הוא כי, that this person is responsible for what occurred. Or they say זה, this other party is guilty. The Torah corrects them and says, שניהם דבר יבא האלקים עד, attribute what happened to Hashem. Instead of blaming others, recognize that it was bashert.
