Halacha Corner – Contradicting One’s Parents
Can one ignore a request from one’s parents?
There is no worse way of transgressing the prohibition of contradicting one’s parents than when a father or mother orders their child to do something, and the child disrespectfully answers that they do not want to do it, or ignores them and acts as if they did not hear, etc. This applies even if these reactions do not directly undermine their honor, for example when parents give their child an order stemming from their concern for their well-being, such as to dress warmly in cold weather, etc.
Even more so, if they order them to do something that will bring honor to the parents (and particularly if by not obeying, one would bring shame upon them), in all these cases one must obey them.
Sources: Letter 81 from the Alter Rebbe 5740 edition, Responsa ‘Arugat HaBosem Orach Chaim 19. Psakim U’Teshuvot, Yoreh Deah 240:64. Reprinted from Shoneh Halachot #3, The Halachic Institute
