A Jewish woman in a hospital says to the doctor that she wants to be transferred. The doctor says, “What is it, the food?” She says, “The food is fine. I can’t kvetch.” “Is it the room?” he says. “No,” she says, “the room is beautiful. I can’t kvetch.” “What about the staff? Is there a problem with the staff?” She says, “No. They’re beautiful people. I can’t kvetch.” “So why do you want to be transferred?” he asks. “I can’t kvetch,” she says.
Shmuel noticed his friend Avrum underneath a streetlight, searching for something on the ground. “What are you doing, Avrum?” “I’ve lost my keys. Please help me look for them.” A while passed with no success. “Avrum, where exactly did you lose those keys?” “I lost them in that alley over there.” Shmuel was dumbfounded. “So why are we looking here!?” Avrum looked over at his friend: “Because the light is better here!”
A teenage Jewish girl asks her dad “Daddy may I have twenty dollars? Her dad replies, “ Fifteen dollars? What in the world do you need ten dollars for?”
Moishe and Mendel both 8 year-olds, are playing together, when Moishe asks, “does your family say a prayer before dinner,” to which Mendel replied, “No, my mother is a good cook!”
Hershy comes home from school and tells his mother, “Guess what, Mom? Today I was the only one who could answer the teacher’s question.” His mother asks, “What was the question?” The boy proudly says, “Who threw the rock through the window?”
Harry went for a job interview. It seemed to go well because before he left, he was told, "We would like you to work for us. We'll give you $10 an hour starting today and in three months time we'll increase it to $15 an hour. So when would you like to start?" Harry replies, "In about 3 months from now."
