Inter-Inclusion
A fundamental principle used in Kabbalah and Chasidut is “inter-inclusion,” which posits that when an object or an idea is fully mature, it will reflect all its parts in each of its aspects. In our case, since the model we have been using is composed of three parts: submission, separation, and sweetening, in its mature form it will contain 9 parts: the submission of submission, the separation of submission, and the sweetening of submission, and so on. Let us see how our inter-included model applies to the laws of family purity:
Submission within Submission: The first appearance of the menstrual flow brings submission to the laws of family purity and a feeling of existential humility.
Separation within Submission: The laws of separation between husband and wife come into immediate effect, along with the knowledge that it is a temporary situation for a higher purpose.
Sweetening within Submission: After the cessation of the menstrual flow and its confirmation by a hefsek taharah, the couple looks forward in anticipation to a renewal of intimacy.
Submission within Separation: A woman at this stage of the “clean days” checks herself daily, submitting to the laws of family purity to make sure she is without a flow of blood. This preserves a certain state of existential humility.
Separation within Separation: Despite a growing arousal of anticipation the couple maintain clear borders of separation.
Sweetening within Separation: The stage of separation is concluded, and the woman immerses in the mikveh, a true experience of sweetening.
Submission within Sweetening: Now the couple may reunite, nonetheless marital intimacy still requires a certain attitude of modest conduct as required by Jewish law. Submission to these guidelines ensures that the marital act takes place in a context of spiritual ambience and purity.
Separation within Sweetening: During relations we are taught the importance of holy and proper thoughts. A couple must refrain or separate inappropriate thoughts fueled solely by raw animalistic desire and passion from their minds.
Sweetening within Sweetening: The joy and closeness engendered by renewed intimate relations is the true sweetening—the goal of the entire process. Not only is this joy shared by husband and wife but also brings the couple closer to God, the “third partner” in any healthy Jewish marriage.
