The first topic in this week’s parsha is the halachah of the eved ivri [Jewish slave]. An eved ivri is a person who stole and cannot afford to pay back his debt. He is sold for six years as a slave to a fellow Jew, and in the seventh year he goes free. There is a mind-boggling halachah associated with an eved ivri, which is that the master is allowed to give him a shifcha Cananis [a gentile maidservant] as a wife. As part of his servitude, he would father children with this shifcha Cananis, who would themselves become slaves to the master.
The pasuk teaches: אם בגפו יבא בגפו יצא - “If he comes in single, he goes out single” (Shemos 21:3). Rashi teaches, based on the Mechilta, that the eved ivri can only be given a shifcha Cananis as a wife if he is already married when he begins his period of slavery. If he enters slavery as a bachelor, the halachah does not allow the master to give him a shifcha Cananis by which to father children.
If we had to write this halachah about the master giving his eved ivri a shifcha Cananis, and we were told that it only applies in one situation—either for a single person or a married person—what would we say makes more sense? Most people would assume, “Okay, if the fellow is single then we can understand that the master gives him a shifcha Cananis. However, if he has a family already – then would we think that his master can give him a shifcha Cananis? This must not do a lot for the shalom bayis [domestic tranquility] of this eved ivri! The Torah legislates just the opposite of what we would have thought to be logical!
I saw in the name of Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlit”a, that the rationale behind this is the following: If a person is married then he knows what marriage is about. He knows that what he is doing with this shifcha is just a matter of cohabitation for the purpose of fathering children. He fully understands “this is not a wife!” He knows what a wife is. He knows what marriage is. He knows what real family life is about. After six years, when he is given the option – are you going to stay with her (and remain in slavery until Yovel) or are you going to go back to your family, chances are the person would say, “I am going back home. I know what a wife is. I know what a Jewish family is. I know what children are all about.”
On the other hand, if an eved ivri who was not married was given a shifcha Cananis to live with he would assume: “Oh, this is what the male-female relationship is all about! This is what it is!” We do not want the person to say “I love my master, my wife, and my children. I will not go out free.” (Shemos 21:5). We do not want that to happen! The chances of it NOT happening are increased when the person knows what a wife is supposed to be and what the relationship between a husband and wife is supposed to be. Then, the person will hopefully say, “after six years of this, I am out of here!”
Sometimes people get into relationships before they are supposed to, whether this is right or wrong is a discussion in itself. Then for some reason or other it breaks up, and they get very upset and distraught about it, and they can’t manage to get over it. It’s important to realize that such relationships are nothing compared to when one gets married to his bashert and lives a happy married life. Therefore, if such a thing should happen it’s not worth getting upset about it.
