Question: On the outside I appear relaxed, however, I suffer from anxiety. Years ago, on Motzei Shabbat I had a panic attack. It was very scary and I felt like I might lose control. As a result, Motzei Shabbat is a very unpleasant time for me as I am always afraid I will have a panic attack. What can I do to overcome this fear of Motzei Shabbat.
Answer:
A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause...One of the worst things about panic attacks is the intense fear that you'll have another one. (Mayo Clinic)
In regards fears and panic attacks, the Rebbe writes that generally, matters such as these do not have a basis in reality (except for the fact that the person thinks and obsesses about these thoughts). Therefore, ceasing to think these thoughts eliminates them entirely...More specifically, these thoughts are banished by thinking about matters of Torah and mitzvot, for even a small measure of light banishes a large measure of darkness.
In regards feelings of inner disquiet and conflict, the Rebbe writes: For a Jew to eliminate conflict, it is necessary for him to bring to the fore his inner essence, which is his deep-rooted faith in G‑d... In other words, a Jew must live his daily life in accordance with the Torah and mitzvot — the Jewish way of life — for it is only in this way that he can attain true harmony and peace of mind. (Wisdom and Teachings, Sichos in English)
When we try to stop thinking a thought, it is a struggle to keep it away. Thus, as the Rebbe advises, the way to banish the thought, the darkness, is by filling our mind and behaviors with Torah and mitzvot.
Motzei Shabbat is a special time as we accompany the Shabbat Queen as she departs. Thus, there are a number of unique laws and customs involved with this evening: set the table nicely for a full meal, Melaveh Malka; have a hot drink (hot water on Motzei Shabbat is said to help with depression and lead to a calm week); light candles; sing or talk about Elijah the Prophet; tell stories of Tzadikim; avoid dealing with other matters until after the meal; wear Shabbat clothing; some play music and sing.
In fact, the holy Ari Zal said that we should rejoice during this meal as we do during the three meals of Shabbat.
Therefore, by fully occupying your thoughts and actions with the laws, customs and joy of Motzei Shabbat, there is a strong likelihood that your fear of Motzei Shabbat panic attacks will vanish.
Aharon Schmidt, marriage & individual counseling, [email protected]
