By Sarah Chana Radcliffe
Your child learns how to interpret events from YOU...
You teach your child what is worth stressing about. When you worry out loud or display obvious upset, you automatically teach the lesson “this situation is worth sacrificing my peace of mind for.” Just be sure that it is and that you want your child to be stressed over this sort of thing as well.
Family members provoke upset but the question is, do you HAVE to be upset?
Can you control your feelings? Can you stop yourself from feeling upset at your spouse or child if you actually feel upset? Interestingly, there are tools that can help you re-wire your brain and heart for more equanimity. The more you use them, the more wired-in they become until eventually they replace your old set of emotional responses. Here’s just one to get you started: When you’re upset about a domestic issue, rate the upset in intensity between 1 and 10. Now take a moment to imagine that today is the last day of your life - you’ve only got a few hours left. Now rate the upset again. Repeat anytime you get upset over everyday issues.
