In this week’s parshah we learn that a master who strikes his slave with a stick and kills him is subject to the death penalty. The Torah also tells us that if the slave only dies a day or two later, the master is not punished. The Rambam clarifies that if the master strikes his slave not with a stick but rather, with a sword, knife, or stone, then the master is put to death even if the slave lingers for a year before dying of his wounds.
The Ohr Hachaim explains that the difference between the two cases is based not on the nature of the wounds but rather on the type of weapon and what it reveals about the master’s motivations. A master who strikes his slave with a stick might merely be trying to chastise him and teach him to do his job properly. If a master lashes out with a knife or rock, however, this indicates that he has murderous intentions even if the slave is not so badly wounded that he dies on the spot.
The Torah obligates those who own slaves to treat them in a humane manner, even though they are essentially the property of their owners. While the halachos related to slaves are not currently relevant, we can derive important lessons from them that concern all types of relationships, especially those with our children.
Sometimes, parents justify what they consider to be chinuch methods by claiming that “I’m the parent; I can act as I see fit.” There is some truth to this as long as the parent is truly engaging in chinuch. But if the parent is simply giving vent to his emotions, “I’m the parent” is no justification at all. If it isn’t justified with a slave who is his master’s possession, how much more so when it comes to our children, who are not the property of their parents.
The results of our misguided attempts to mold our children are not always immediately visible, but when we are honest with ourselves, we are quite capable of figuring out whether a “chinuch” method is truly motivated by a genuine desire to set a child on his right path.
