Submission, Separation, and Sweetening
One of the cardinal teachings of the Ba’al Shem Tov is that every process, whether material or spiritual, progresses through three stages: submission (hachna’ah), separation (havdalah), and sweetening (hamtakah).
This three-stage model can be applied to virtually any circumstance, whether in the material world or the realm of the soul and spiritual advancement. First let us describe in brief these three stages.
The first stage of submission, involves submitting one’s will, time, energy, and sincerity to God. This stage requires dedication and the resolve to recognize that we are lacking and cannot fully rectify or satisfy our own needs except by turning to God. Emotionally and psychologically, submission entails true humility and a tempering of the ego.
The second stage, separation, involves identifying and connecting with the positive aspects in ourselves, while discerning what will help complete the task and what will distract from it. Whether it is a short-term or long-term project, it will involve making constant decisions that will practically help separate the essential from the extraneous for the success of the endeavor.
The final stage, sweetening, reflects being satisfied and joyous with accomplishing one’s goals. This should then lead to acknowledging and praising God for the strength and assistance along the way. Recognizing God's ongoing support brings true joy and sweetness to any experience.
We will now take this three-stage paradigm and apply it to the laws of family purity.
