A person who isn’t M'zalzel in Rabbonim and Chashuva Yidden is Zoche to Chashuva children, which a Bechor symbolizes. (Netziv)
There are many stories of mediocre families who were Zoche to descendants who were great Torah leaders. This is because the family was always praising and admiring Talmidei Chachomim. (see Gemara)
The same with Talmidei Chachomim who are critical about other Talmidei Chachomim can produce a family with little Torah, Chas V'shalom. In this world, we can sometimes see the power of a person’s Retzonos, and how a person who respects Torah is Zoche to Torah, even though he may be an Am HaAretz. However, in the next world, the reward for all your noble desires and aspirations and Ruchaniyus frustrations is much greater. Just as we see in this world how your thoughts and desires can have tangible good fruits when you respect the truth, so much more so in Olam HaEmes. רַחְּמָּנָּא לִּיבָּא בָּעֵּי Hashem wants our intentions.
There are people who may even be addicted to evil habits, but they are always begging for an improved Matzav. Although they feel that they are in the “garbage can”, they should realize how real their Retzonos are, and how someday Hashem will reward the pain they have for their uncontrollable sins and their inabilities to become much holier and purer! The Ikar of a person is where he is aiming and desiring! (see R' Yerucham Levovitz). And: ב"קִכחִבִִאוֹנֵּסִרַחְמ נ אִפַטְרֵּיה If it’s beyond your control, it’s not your responsibility. Perhaps you don’t have the: כִֵּל ִים capabilities to become a big Talmid Chochom, or a pure person, or a big M'zakeh HaRabbim, or a nicer and calmer husband/son/father/friend/chavrusa/etc. or a true Baal Mussar, or a true “real” Yid etc. But you can desire and aspire! And this is a goldmine in the world of truth!
TRUE STORY
There is a famous picture of R’ Ahron Kotler Zatzal sitting by a Gemara with his glasses on. Those who have the larger picture have R’ Shneur Kotler Zatzal standing and waving his hand and looking agitated. There were also two Gevir’im with Irving Bunim Zatzal including a well-known Mr. K. who were having a meeting about getting sorely needed money for BMG.
The Gevir’im were asking R' Ahron Zatzal to pick his head up from the Gemara in order to pose for the picture, but R' Ahron ignored them since he was totally involved in his beloved Gemara! And R' Shneur was saying to stop coaxing R' Ahron and to allow him to learn. I just heard this story: עֵּ ד מִּ פִּ י עֵּ ד from someone who heard it first-hand, in the name of one of the Gevir’im who was there.
Look what became of Lakewood! Notice how a nonchalant attitude to Hishtadlus and wholehearted Bitachon in the Melech Malchei HaMelochim HaKadosh Baruch Hu and love for His Torah can do! How it pays off to spend lots of time and Kochos in learning Torah and Bitachon, and not “worship” your Hishtadlus, Chas V'shalom, and spend all your time and Kochos and mental energy in Tevah (nature). However, everybody is different, and sometimes it’s a Mitzva to do more Hishtadlus, especially in Ruchaniyus.
The main thing is to somehow make Hashem the Ikar in your life. A practice would be to take breaks from your Hishtadlus, and be: מַ ע דִּ יף prefer some time with Hashem.
