By Aharon Spetner
Illustrated by Miri Weinreb
It was a bright sunny day in University City when Rabbi Greenblatt walked into the Post Office. He observed the long line of people waiting, and took a number, then sat down and opened his small Gemara while he waited for his turn.
“Hi Rabbi!”
Rabbi Greenblatt looked up.
“Good morning, Mr. Herschenstein,” Rabbi Greenblatt said. “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m doing just great,” answered Mr. Herschenstein. “You know, I’ve been pondering what you told me last week and I think I might be able to find some time to start coming to your morning Chumash shiur. It sounds really interesting.”
“That’s great!” Rabbi Greenblatt said. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you there!”
“Three thousand, seven hundred forty-six!” called a voice from the front of the room.
The Rabbi Walks to the Counter
Rabbi Greenblatt walked to the counter, noticing the name “Big Moose” on the postal worker’s name tag.
“Good morning, Mr. Moose,” Rabbi Greenblatt said with a smile, handing the man a slip of paper. “I received this in my mailbox this morning. Something about a package that I need to pick up?”
“Wait right here, sir,” Big Moose said, as he disappeared into the back, returning with his supervisor, who was carrying a box which appeared to have smoke coming out of it.
“Rabbi,” the supervisor said. “Your package has been flagged as suspicious. Do you know why it is smoking?”
“Oh, that’s not smoke - it’s vapor from the dry ice,” Rabbi Greenblatt answered.
“Dry ice?” Alarmed, the supervisor quickly picked up his radio. “We have a code three situation here,” he said.
Schmaltz Herring for Shabbos
“Yes, my son-in-law in Lakewood sent me schmaltz herring for Shabbos. He packed it with dry ice so it would stay cold.”
“Schmaltz herring?” Big Moose said. “Where have I heard that word before? It sounds dangerous.”
The supervisor picked up his radio again. “Escalate that to a code seven!” he ordered. “We have an unknown volatile substance! Initiate containment procedures!”
“No, no,” Rabbi Greenblatt said, opening the package. “Here, let me show you.”
Nervously, Big Moose and the supervisor peered into the box to see many layers of plastic wrapping.
“Sir, why would you need so many layers of protection if we are not dealing with radioactive material? I need you to stand back for your own safety.”
Rabbi Greenblatt ignored the command and quickly unwrapped the container of herring.
