A Burial Plot
An old Jewish woman, on her 80th birthday, decides to prepare her last will and testament. She goes to the rabbi to show it to him and to ask him for advice on a few points, chief amongst them is her request that she not be buried in a Jewish cemetery.
"But why Mrs. Epstein?" the rabbi asks. "You don't want to be buried with the rest of our people?"
"No," Mrs. Epstein said resolutely. "I want to be buried at Bloomingdales."
"Bloomingdales?!" the rabbi said in disbelief.
"Yes. Then I'll be sure that my daughters will visit me at least twice a week!"
Chaim Yankel in Med School
While making the rounds at Hadassah Hospital, Dr. Cohen points out an X-Ray to a group of medical students.
"As you can see," he says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Chaim Yankel, what would you do in a case like this?"
Chaim Yankel ponders for a second and answers, "I guess I'd limp, too."
Meal Service
It was mealtime during a flight on El-Al , Israel's national airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked Moishe, seated in the front row.
"What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.
Window Worries
Two ladies in a Chassidic neighborhood in Williamsburg were riding a bus and arguing about the window.
"If this window is open," one woman declared, "I will catch cold, and probably die!"
"If the window is shut," the other announced, "I will suffocate!"
The two glared at each other.
The bus driver was at a loss, until an elderly Jew sitting at the back of the bus sat up and offered a solution.
"First, open the window. That will kill this one. Next, shut it. That will kill the other. Then the rest of us can ride in peace."
