Shalom Bayis was a major issue in Novardok. There isn't any Kavod to be gained at home, and your true Bain Adam La'chaveiro comes out at home base. The Alter Zatzal wrote 3,000 Maalos about his wife.
During their Vaadim, people opened up to each other to some extent. This is the reason for their phenomenal Hatzlacha; issues were addressed, and your friends helped you tackle them Ai-Pi Torah and Al-Pi Mussar. Usually they blamed themselves for their own Ga'ava or lack of Bitachon, which the right Mussar Seder would cure with Si'ata D'shmaya. They grew from Vaad to Vaad. I know of a Novardoker [Rabbi R.] whose wife used to yell at him, and he would answer with a soft voice: “I’ll try to make myself better”.
If you believe in: ָא 'ה ַמר לוֹלֵלַק It is really Hashem cursing me in the form of this human, so who are you arguing with? Hashem is talking to you via this person, and everything in your life is a message from Hashem. So we ignore the person, who doesn’t realize that he’s a Shali'ach Min HaShamayim, and we try to improve ourselves, by working on Ka'as, Hachna'a, or being Dan L'kaf Zechus, etc. I once heard R' Avigdor Miller Zatzal saying publicly: “The worse your wife is, the better!”.
Someone once came to an old Novardoker telling him his many problems with his wife. He looked at him in amazement: “You're so lucky. With such a wife you can grow and grow!” When Mrs. R. told her husband: “But you told me last time that you’ll improve!”, he answered: “But this time I’ll try harder”. He was like a broken record of tremendous Hachna'a to his wife, no matter what she yelled about.
I was once eating at a Novardoker’s house, and the children were acting up at the table. It was Shabbos, and he was saying a Vort on the Parsha in his usual low and soft voice. His response to the acting up: To speak even lower and softer than usual! And as usual, he was always in a state of good humor. He laughed and laughed. He created a happy home, thanks to his hours and hours of learning Shaar HaBitachon, which is where he got his tremendous Simcha from. His tremendous Hachna'a and Eidelkeit came from hours and hours of learning Shaar HaK'niya! Novardok husbands always blame themselves, since they live by the Chovos Halvavos Shaar HaBitachon who says that when your relatives mistreat you, you should be Mochel them and Davka do lots of Chesed to them; just blame your own sins and do Teshuva.
