In Parshas Nasso, the Torah teaches, “And all that is raised up of all the holy things that the Children of Israel bring to the Kohen, it shall be his. A man’s holy things shall be his, and what a man gives to the Kohen, it shall be his.” (Bamidbar 5:9-10). In effect, a person must give all his “Priestly Gifts” to the Kohen.
This is immediately followed by the laws of Sotah, a man who suspects his wife of being unfaithful. Rashi comments on the juxtaposition of these two parshios: If someone holds back that which he is obligated to give to the Kohen – “By your life, you will need to come to him to bring your wife for the Sotah ritual.”
This fellow is stingy. He does not want to give to the Kohen what he is supposed to give. The Torah says, as it were, “Guess what fella: One day you will need to depend on this Kohen because you will suspect your wife of infidelity and you will need to bring her to him in order for her to once again be permitted to live with you.”
The problem with this drasha is, how does it happen that just because I am stingy, my wife is going to turn into the type of woman that will potentially engage in adulterous relations? Where is the cause and effect? What is the connection between my stinginess and my wife’s infidelity?
I would like to suggest the following answer: There are two types of women who can wind up being a Sotah. There is a woman who is in fact guilty as charged, and was indeed unfaithful to her husband. She suffers the consequence of the Sotah. The “Bitter Waters” that she drinks do their work and she explodes from this potion. However, there is also another type of woman who is falsely accused of being unfaithful.
If we think about the type of male personality who does not give his Priestly Gifts to the Kohen, we are talking about a person who is a cheapskate. We are talking about the type of person who holds onto his money. We are talking about the type of person who is not generous, who is not giving. This is the type of person who often has a jealous personality. There is a personality profile here which combines the traits of cheapness, jealousy, and an uncompromising nature.
This is the type of person who, when he sees his wife having an innocent and innocuous conversation with another man, because of his perspective on life—always viewing people in a negative light—jumps to conclusions and asks: “What is my wife doing with this guy?” Therefore, he right away makes a kinui on her (warning her not to be seen in private with this fellow) and if there happens to be steerah (where the woman is subsequently seen in private with him), he will drag her to the Kohen. The truth of the matter may very well be that this woman has done nothing evil. But because of her husband’s negativity and his outlook on life, he sees sinister events where no such events have transpired.
So it does not automatically follow that a stingy person has a wife who is a run-around. She in fact may be perfectly innocent, but such a person views his wife with his negative perception which may lead to kinui and steerah, and eventually may necessitate him needing to bring his wife to the Kohen.
