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NEW SHUL SEATING ARRANGEMENTS:
During the past High Holydays, many individuals expressed concern over the seating arrangements in the shul. In the future, for us to place you in a seat that will be best suited for you, we ask that you complete the following questionnaire and return it to the shul office as soon as possible:

1. I wish to be placed in a seat next to someone who wishes to discuss the following topics:
   [ ] Stock market [ ] Air conditioning [ ] Sports [ ] The shul finances [ ] Kashrus [ ] Other (please specify)
2. I wish to be seated in a seat where:
   [ ] No one on the bimah can see me talking during the services
   [ ] I can sleep during services*
   [ ] I can sleep during the rabbi's sermon (additional charge)*
   (* Special reclining seats are available for additional charge)
3. I wish to be located next to the following so that I may obtain free professional advice:
   [ ] Lawyer
   [ ] Accountant
   [ ] Doctor (specify specialty)
   [ ] Stockbroker
   [ ] Chiropractor
   [ ] Real estate agent
4. If you want to inform your in-laws that no seats are available next to you, please check this box: [ ]

Name: ______________
Phone: _____________

• The chazzan came home the night of Rosh Hashana, looking somewhat upset. "What happened?" his wife asked. "Schwartz the gabbai said I wasn't very good."
  "Schwartz? Forget about him. He has no mind of his own! He just repeats what everyone else is saying."
• Why do we put the Sefer Torah in a safe?
  Because we want to have a safer Torah!
• What does a cow daven?
  MOO-SAF!

Brought to you by Uncle Benjy, author of Laughter is the Best Medicine: Kosher and Jewish Jokes for the Whole Family, available on Amazon.
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