DO YOU KNOW YOUR BRIDE?
Why does the groom place an opaque veil over his bride’s face?
Jacob, the father of the first Jewish family, was a victim of a last-minute switch. His father-in-law substituted Leah, the older of his two daughters, for Rachel, the one whom Jacob loved. Jacob discovered the deception only after he had consummated the marriage with Leah. Jacob, choosing to accept his fate, remained with Leah and later also married Rachel, the bride of his choice.
Why did the first Jewish family have to emerge in such an enigmatic manner? Leah represents fate – she is the woman whom Jacob ended up marrying. Rachel represents choice – she is the woman whom Jacob chose to marry. When you get married, although you may think you are marrying Rachel, there is bound to be some element of surprise, and you will discover that you also ended up with Leah, who represents those elements of your spouse you never knew you were getting. These elements, however, may be exactly what you need.
When the groom veils his bride, he is saying, “I will love, cherish, and respect not only the ‘you’ that is revealed to me, but also those elements of your personality that are hidden from me. As I am bonding with you in marriage, I am committed to creating a space within me for the totality of your being – for all of you, all of the time.”
UNDER THE VEIL
Our Sages say that “Abraham our father instituted the morning prayers (Shacharis), Isaac the afternoon prayers (Mincha), and Jacob the evening prayer (Maariv).”
The Chassidic Masters offer the following homiletical interpretation: Jacob instituted the prayer for the bride under the veil. Just as the evening service occurs when night falls and one’s sight is eclipsed, so, too, the bride’s prayer under the veil is eclipsed.
However, unlike the evening service, which has words, the bride’s prayer is a prayer that has never been put into words, for it transcends the human vocabulary.
SILENCE
Under the chuppah, the groom says to the bride: “You are hereby consecrated to me with this ring, in accordance with the law of Moses and Israel.” The bride remains silent. She does not even verbally acknowledge her groom's words and gift.
For if the bride were to speak during these moments, she would reveal the deepest secrets of the soul, and the world is not yet ready to hear them.
When Moshiach comes – when the world will have reached its spiritual zenith – the bride will speak under the chuppah canopy. As the prophet Jeremiah says, “There will be heard in the cities of Judah and in the streets of Jerusalem, the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of the groom and the sound of the bride” (Jeremiah 33, 10-11).
RABBI YITZCHAK ADLERSTEIN
CHABAD.ORG
