What if even on Rosh hashono I’m detached and indifferent? What if even the tekios on rosh hashono don’t evoke in me the same reaction as the theater did in R’ Simcha Bunim? What steps can I take to ensure that the experience is meaningful?
For this we might do well to retell the other story (shared by the Frierdige Rebbe, and repeated by the Rebbe on Simchas Torah 5726) of the farbrengen that was quoted in the email last week (as mentioned then, the Frierdige Rebbe was addressing the question/complaint of yungerleit, about the fact that they were involved in Torah and avodas Hashem, but not seeing it have an effect on them):
A poor man once had to make a chasuna. Now, in order to make a chasuna there are numerous requirements and numerous expenses. But, one of the basics is that the mechutan should have a decent set of clothes, something that this pauper didn’t own.
However, Boruch Hashem, he came up with a perfect solution for this problem. He had a very wealthy neighbor, who was kind and generous, and was glad to lend his own fancy suit to the poor man so that he could celebrate in style.
We can understand that, although the gvir’s suit was a very active participant in every detail of the chasuna, it will have had no bearing or impact on the gvir himself, because it is merely his suit that is in attendance at the wedding; - he himself is elsewhere.
So, too, (the Frierdige Rebbe concluded), it can be that when we are involved in learning Torah or serving the Eibishter, it is merely our suit, our levushim – our faculties, that are taking part, but we ourselves are elsewhere. Is it a wonder, in that case, that the experience has no bearing on us?
We are approaching the yomim nora’im, the holiest days of the year. We want to make sure, surely, that the experience is as meaningful as can be, and that it has a lasting effect on us throughout the coming year.
Well, in that case, we need to see to it that we ourselves are there, that we’re not just sending our suits and our sirtuks and our gartels to tekios, but we are personally present and involved as well. We can’t just be going through the motions, paying our dues for the high holidays, but we need to be involved and invested in it with our very being.
And one of the primary ways to ensure that we’re there with our pnimiyus by these important moments of the year - and not just as an empty suit - is by learning chassidus. I know, it’s already late, but it’s not too late (besides for the fact that it’s never too late). Today and Shabbos, take some time, and learn well an inyan in chassidus on these days.
You can learn a maamar in Likutei Torah, you can learn a maamar of the Rebbe, or you can learn any sefer you choose.
But learn chassidus, from the source (not some purchased thought or speech from the internet...). And learn it properly. It’s not important how long it is, but it’s important to really learn it and understand it. It’s important that you should be able to think about it and contemplate it, and that it should be able to add new meaning to some of the words and pesukim that you say in davening.
There’s still a chance, but it takes some commitment. Steal some time from some of your less vital pursuits. And most importantly, steal some of the focus and tzugetrogenkeit that was designated for narrishkeiten (ok, don’t get insulted, you know I don’t mean you, I was speaking about myself...). And really learn the maamar in a way that it will change your Rosh hashonoh, your aseres yemei teshuva, your Yom Kippur, your Sukkos and Simchas Torah, and through that your entire year.
This year, let’s try to not just send our suits to the cleaners, but let us, rather, put our entire self into the washing machine! Let’s use this last Shabbos to make the proper last hachonos to these yomim nora’im, and may the Eibishter give each of us hatzlocho in our hachonos, together with a כתיבה וחתימה טובה לכל טוב סלה בטוב הנראה והנגלה ר"בגו!
L’chaim! May we all use this Shabbos mevorchim to make ourselves into proper keilim for these brochos, and may the Eibishter bestow upon all of us מידו המלאה הפתוחה הקדושה והרחבה והגדושה all of the brochos contained in these Pesukim of Atem nitzovim, up to and including a כתיבה וחתימה טובה לשנה טובה ומתוקה בטוב הנראה והנגלה ר"בגו and most importantly the immediate hisgalus of Moshiach Tzidkeinu NOW!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
!ג"הנרוהנ בטוב ס"וכט הנכונה בריאות מתוך ט"לאויוש ,'שי מרים בן ב"שד לזכות ט"ואויוש ק"לרפושו ,חנה בן אהרן ת"הרה לזכות
