Rottweiler
What is the difference between a Jewish mother and a Rottweiler? Eventually, a Rottweiler will let go.
Staring at the Sea
These four women are sitting on a bench in Santa Monica. It's a gray day. They're staring out at the gray sea, under a cloudy sky, looking miserable. They're not talking. All of a sudden, one of them breaks the silence and says, "Oy." Two seconds later, the one next to her says, "Oy, vey." A few seconds later, the one next to her says, "Oy vey iz mir." The fourth one turns toward the others and says, "Excuse me, I thought we had agreed that we weren't going to talk about the children!"
Meeting Mom
This guy tells his mother that he's finally going to get married. His mother is thrilled! She says, "Am I gonna meet her?" He says, "Well, Ma, I'd like to play a little game with you. You have such a good sense of what's going on. I'd like to bring in three women and have you guess which one's gonna be my wife." His mother agrees. The next day, he brings in three beautiful ladies and he sits down on the couch next to his mom. His mom talks to them for two minutes and says, "The redhead in the middle."
Sponsor Message
He says, "Ma, that's amazing! How'd you do that so quickly?" She says, "'Cause I don't like her."
Bubele
A lady is taking her young son to his first day in school. She's walking him to school and she starts giving him a little lecture. She says, "Now, bubele, this is a marvelous thing for you, bubele. Bubele, you're never gonna forget it. Just remember, bubele, to behave in school. Remember, bubele, anytime you want to speak, you raise your hand." They get to the school and she says, "Bubele, have a good day. I'll be waiting for you when you get out of school." Four hours later, she's standing there, and the little kid runs down the steps. She runs toward him and says, "Bubele, bubele, it's been such an exciting day. Tell me, bubele, what did you learn today?" He says, "I learned my name was Irving."
