People were discussing the awesome judgment of Rosh Hashanah, and one person quipped, "We must believe that Hashem will give us a good judgment on Rosh Hashanah." The Brisker Rav told him that this calm attitude isn't considered bitachon. "Bitachon is only where there is fear. Not being afraid isn't bitachon." We should be afraid on the days of awe and strengthen ourselves with bitachon, believing that Hashem will undoubtedly grant us a favorable judgment. In this manner, fear and joy merge. But if we aren't afraid at all, it could be that we are ignoring the reality of the occurring judgment.
The Tur (581) writes that most people wear black clothing when being tried in court and their lives are on the line. However, the Jewish nation wears white clothing because they trust that Hashem will perform a miracle and save them.
Once, during Elul, Reb Yitzchak Dovid Gutfarb zt'l came to the beis din in Yerushalayim. The dayanim asked him, "Do you have a case today?" He replied that he didn't. "So why did you come?" He replied, "I wanted to see how people act when judged. The people who come to beis din are in the midst of a financial dispute; their money is on the line, and I wanted to see their behavior. I saw some people saying Tehillim with a lot of kavanah as they waited for a ruling, and I saw some people animatedly pleading their case. Everyone is worried, everyone is anxious. And then I thought to myself, why don't we see people being as anxious and worried during Elul when the days of judgment are approaching? And this awesome judgment isn't merely about money. A person’s entire future and life is on the line! So, I wonder how people remain so calm in Elul."
We would like to say that it is because they have bitachon and trust that Hashem will grant them good judgment. Halavay that was the source of their calmness. But perhaps it is also because people aren’t fully aware of what is at stake. They didn't entirely appreciate what is being judged and determined on these awesome days. True bitachon, and the joy that we strive to have on Rosh Hashanah, emerges from fear of Hashem and fear of the judgment fused with bitachon in Hashem.
A mashal is told in the name of Reb Chaim of Brisk zt'l:
A person planning to smuggle contraband across the border can't sleep for nights for fear that he will be caught. The hired wagon driver isn't as afraid because it isn't his merchandise. But when they approach the border, he too gets scared. The only one that never gets scared is the horse. We say (Tehillim 32:9) תהיו אל כפרד כסוס, "Don't be like a horse, like a mule..." We shouldn't be like animals who have no fear at all. We are nearing the days of judgment; our baggage will be inspected, and it is appropriate to be afraid and then to calm the fear with the joy of bitachon.
The Beis Aharon (Netzavim) writes, "The main thing is [that on Rosh Hashanah] everyone should draw fear to themselves. Either yirah iloyah, divine fear [the fear that stems from perceiving Hashem’s greatness], or, if he isn’t on this level, he should be afraid of the judgment. The main thing is that everyone must be afraid, and then Hakadosh Baruch Hu will do tzedakah with us."
The Baal HaTurim (Netzavim לבבך את ה"ד) writes, "From Elul on I am afraid before Hashem."
The Shlah Hakadosh (beginning of Rosh Hashanah) discusses the pasuk (Amos 3:8) יירא לא מי שאג אריה, "A lion has roared; who will not fear?" He notes that the letters אריה stand for רבא הושענא ,כיפור יום ,השנה ראש ,אלול. On these days, who isn’t afraid of Hashem's judgment?
Rabbeinu Yonah (Shaar HaYirah 101) writes, "From the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur, one should be afraid and tremble from the fearsome judgment."
It states (Tehillim 119:120) יראתי וממשפטיך בשרי מפחדך סמר, "My flesh bristles from fear of You, and I fear Your judgment." These words are gematriya 2090, the same as רבא הושענא ,נעילה ,כפור יום ,השנה ראש ,אלול.
Rebbe Aharon of Belz zt'l told a bachur who committed a grave aveirah, "How could you have not been afraid of the moments before tekiyas shofar?" The realization that he would be listening to the shofar on Rosh Hashanah should have filled him with fear and prevented him from doing the aveirah.
We wonder, why do we wear white clothing on Rosh Hashanah? Shouldn’t we wear colorful clothing since we are so certain that we will have a good judgment?
The answer is that wearing colorful clothing might imply that we aren't afraid of judgment. Perhaps we don't believe we are being judged, which is why we are so calm and relaxed. But by wearing white clothing, the clothes of tachrichim, we show that we know there's a judgment, only we rely on Hashem to give us a good judgment. It is a joy that emanates from fear, not from denial.
