A young kollel fellow had fallen under the misconception that external appearances make the man. If someone does not appear distinguished, people will just look through him as if he does not exist. This, he felt, was the reason that hardly anyone gave him the time of day. People ignored him in the kollel; his wife took him for granted. Indeed, when he raised his hand to flag down a taxi, the driver kept on going – completely ignoring him.
He decided that, once and for all, he was going to change all that. He went to a prominent hat store in Bnei Brak and purchased a homburg. Now, people would notice him. He paid for the hat and left the store.
Immediately, he raised his hand to signal a monit, taxi, and three cabs pulled up. What a change in appearance can create, he mused to himself. He entered the kollel to a chorus of “good mornings,” shortly after which two distinguished members of the kollel came over to speak with him in learning. The final coup occurred when he returned home to a welcome from his wife to which he was no longer accustomed to.
The homburg had changed everything. He felt important, distinguished, chashuv, respected. He shared his new experience with his wife, explaining how a homburg that had cost a few hundred shekel had made him a new man.
His wife looked at him and asked, “Where is this ‘magic’ homburg?”
“On my head – where else?” he replied.
She said, “I see no homburg – neither did you come home sporting a homburg.”
Suddenly, he realized that he had paid for the hat and left it in the store!
End of story. It was not the hat. It was he himself. He had changed his attitude concerning himself. He thought that the hat had changed him, when, in fact, he had changed himself. Self-esteem is self-generated. When one feels good about himself, he needs no external accouterments or public acclaim. The perceived homburg gave the Kollel man the added boost and self-confidence that he needed.
Reprinted from the Parshas Ki Savo 5784 edition of Peninim on the Torah, a parsha sheet of the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland.
You are standing this day all of you...every person of Israel (Deut. 29:9)
The Torah uses many different words to refer to Jews; the name "Israel" is the highest of all these descriptions, connoting magnitude and significance. The verse teaches that all Jews are in this category, i.e., exalted and essentially worthy. (Yismach Moshe)
And it shall come to pass ("vehaya"), when all these things have come upon you, the blessing and the curse (Deut. 30:1)
Our Rabbis explain that the word "vehaya" is an expression of joy. A Jew must always strive to serve G-d joyfully, regardless of whether he encounters blessing in life or (G-d forbid) the opposite. As our Sages declared, "A person is obligated to bless G-d for [apparent] evil in the same way he blesses Him for good." (Ohr HaChaim)
Reprinted from the Parashat Ki Tavo 5761/2001 edition of L’Chaim.
