Any good salesman knows the secret to success lies in a simple formula: ask, seek, tell. "Ask" comes last chronologically, but of course it's the point of the whole sales process. In order to make a sale, you have to ask the customer or client to buy. Occasionally a sale takes place without the salesman taking any initiative. But in non-retail sales - insurance, cars, manufacturing, pharmaceuticals, etc., - the seller, agent, customer representative - however designated - earns his salary, and all the more so his commission, by asking. However he formulates the question, in order to turn the potential customer into an actual client, he must ask.
Even in retail, where the customer walks in presumably intent on buying something, the salesperson asks - or ought to ask - "Can I help you?" or "What are you interested in?" or "What would you like to see?" Other questions can be asked, zeroing in on price, color, style, etc. All of these questions have one objective - to focus the customer on buying, on saying "yes" to a purchase.
In any sales encounter, there are two types of questions: the "needs" questions, and the "buy" question. The "needs" questions establish the parameters of the sale: what does the person want or need, what can he or she afford, how much are they willing to spend? Sometimes a person wants more than he can afford (he wants a million dollar house or a hundred thousand dollar house, but doesn't have the income to meet the monthly payments); sometimes he needs more than he's willing to spend (he's got an estate worth several million dollars but doesn't want to buy the life insurance necessary to protect it).
The good salesman aligns the elements - the client's wants, needs, resources, and willingness - as closely as possible. Then he asks the "buy" question. The customer may still say no, but at least the seller has done his job.
As with everything in life, we can apply this lesson to our lives as Jews. In some sense, we're all salespeople - selling Jewish observances, knowledge and customs to ourselves and to others. And in order to "make a sale" we have to ask.
When it comes to Jewish learning and living, we have to sell to ourselves. And like any "purchase," the sales pitch has to show us that the equation - time and money expended for value received - has a positive result. So we can ask ourselves the "needs" questions: What do we want? What do we need? A relationship with G-d, peace of mind, continuity between the generations, a sense of purpose, a lifestyle that emphasizes and brings close the family? What can we afford? Half an hour a day for prayer? An hour a week for a Torah study class? One day a week - Shabbat - for, well, for all of what Shabbat means? How much are we willing to spend? How much does it cost to to put a coin in the charity box regularly, to purchase a Jewish book, to keep kosher, to buy a mezuza?
And, really, we have to sell to others - our family and friends. Just as we need to buy more Jewish learning and living, so we have the opportunity to "sell" Judaism to those in our sphere of influence and those we encounter. (As the famous Jewish teaching enjoins us, "If all you know is the Hebrew letter 'alef' you are required to teach it to someone who doesn't even know 'alef'.) But only after we have asked the "needs" questions, after we realize what the "customers" - our fellow Jews - need Jewishly, what they can afford, at this moment, to incorporate into their lives, only then can we offer them what Jewish lullabies refer to as "the best merchandise."
(Based on A Letter Of the Rebbe)
