Life is a journey, but learning to deal with challenges helps us grow to lead healthy and productive lives. Generally we need a clear head, a positive attitude and the love and support of family to confront life’s curveballs. But some of us have discovered other methods. The use of alcohol, in many cases started by drinking a Lechaim, can lead to serious addiction. Let’s be clear, looking for relief in a bottle is not the “Yiddishe way.” When taken to an extreme, drinking, although legal, can be dangerous and even life threatening.
At many Shabbos Kiddaishim, it may seem as if the jury is still out on this statement, but one call to a Rov, if you doubt my words, will confirm that excessive drinking is not an appropriate way to celebrate anything! Even though AA (alcoholics anonymous) meetings have a large share of Orthodox Jews, I fear that the overwhelming majority of alcoholics and would-be alcoholics in our community are still in denial (“I just drink on Shabbos and Yomtov”).
The wives of these alcoholics are the ones who have to deal with much pain and embarrassment. Their husbands come home from the Kiddush club, many times, week after week, unable to complete the meal without becoming sick and promptly falling asleep. What do we say to the young eyes that must gaze upon such behaviors. And double woe to the fathers who think it’s fun to give their young children liquor, an occurrence I myself have seen many times.
Let’s hear what The Vorka Rov, R’ Yitzchok Kalish (1779-1848), one of the early Hasidic luminaries, had to say about this problem.
Rashi tells us that Noach was described as “a Tzaddik in his time”, because there are two ways of judging him. Some held that Noach was so righteous that he would have been a tzaddik in any generation (yesh dorshim oso leshvach – Noach was a phenomenal tzaddik ) while others held that only in his lowly generation was he considered a great tzaddik (yesh dorshim oso l’gnai – some take a dim view of Noach’s righteousness).
The Vorka Rov uses a play on words to convey some mussar. “Yesh” in Hebrew stands for yayin vesheichar: alcoholic beverages. The Rov takes a stand: To make a single lechaim (one) for a friend is okay in moderation leshvach (ok), but Ve-Yeish – to add another Lechaim and another and another – In other words, to drink too much – That is l’gnai, to be frowned upon.
Let’s be real! A luxurious lifestyle inevitably includes good alcohol and in many cases, other addictions may follow as well. We would do well to take a good hard look into the mirror of our souls and be honest about what is important to us. If raising a healthy family is a priority and it surely is for every one of us, we must curtail the wanton pursuit of luxuries, overdrinking, partying and other addictions that have overtaken us in 5785.
Over drinking is dangerous, unhealthy and proven to cause disease. If we are challenged by this habit, let’s commit to changing this year - for ourselves and our children, by seeking help.
Written by R’ Avrohom Hillel Reich based on a lesson and story by Harav Ben Tziyon Sneh Shlita
