In this week’s parshah, the Torah lists the descendants of Noach, including Nimrod, who is described as a gibor tzayid — a mighty hunter, adding that, “al kein yei’omar keNimrod gibor tzayid — therefore, it is said: Like Nimrod, a mighty hunter...”
The Imrei Noam, citing the Mesorah, notes that this is one of only three times in the entire Tanach where the word “yei’omar” is used, and based on this, he teaches us something amazing about how to use the middah of ga’avah. Clearly, Nimrod is not someone we want to emulate, and Chazal tell us that “kol hamisga’eh ke’ilu oved avodah zarah — anyone who is arrogant is as if he is serving idols.” However, there are times when we need to be misgaber on the middah of anavah — sometimes, we need to purposely make a display of a good trait in order to benefit others.
One example would be demonstrating wisdom, since “kinas sofrim tarbeh chochmah — the envy between scholars leads to an increase in wisdom.” There are many other examples, such as taking care to present ourselves as respectable and respected people, making it easier for our children and our talmidim (where relevant) to give us the appropriate respect. The Imrei Noam relates this idea to the other two pesukim where the word “yei’omar” is used: “Al kein yei’omar b’sefer...” and “UleTziyon yei’omar ish ve’ish yulad-bo...” Making a demonstration of one’s gadlus can be done in the manner of Nimrod, when it could bring us to avodah zarah, but in specific cases, such as in learning or when relating to children or talmidim, revealing our gadlus can definitely be leto’eles.
A certain father I know regularly puts this concept into practice. Usually, he is someone who runs away from kavod, but once I saw him in shul accepting a choshuve kibbud, and when I expressed my surprise, he told me that he doesn’t want his children to think he’s a batlan — that all the other fathers are getting kibbudim, but he isn’t.
Children and talmidim are required to respect their parents and teachers regardless of whether they make an open display of their gadlus — that’s not a question. However, we should also try to be deserving of kavod by behaving in ways that garner respect, which makes it easier for them to fulfill their obligations. Sometimes, people think that this kind of behavior was only relevant once upon a time and that nowadays, it’s better to be a friend than a respected father or teacher. The Torah makes it clear that this isn’t the right approach.
