We just finished the numerous celebration throughout the entire Tishrei. We heard the shofar on Rosh Hashonoh and enthusiastically proclaimed Hashem as the melech al kol ho’ore. We fasted on Yom Kippur and cried out Shma Yisroel and Hashem hu Ho’Elokim, acknowledging unequivocally that the only true existence is G-dliness. We went into our Sukah and took the lulav and esrog etc. and brought them towards our hearts, - to internalize the declarations of Rosh Hashonoh and Yom Kippur and make them really become a part of us. We danced and rejoiced with all of our souls with this realization, almost endlessly, night after night. And on Simchas Torah we were to such a degree at one with G-dliness and His Torah that we actually became the legs of the Torah, and it danced through us.
For an entire month everything that we did and everything that we experienced were aimed to drive holiness and Elokus into our lives and our very beings, and, hopefully, to continue into every part of the coming year.
But Tishrei ended, it’s now marcheshvon, and we find ourselves back in the world, back in the mundaneness that we’ve been so studiously escaping. We, maybe, are finding ourselves very far from the high at which Tishrei climaxed. The loftiness that we had hoped would accompany us through the new year, perhaps, didn’t materialize, and we feel as if we’re right back where we started last Ellul.
It’s as if all of our gains, all of our profits of the month of Tishrei, were wiped away. We did all this work, and we feel as if we weren’t paid; - we didn’t end up taking home the benefits.
[More specifically, it is 6 months of wages that we’re missing. Because, as we know, there are 2 main seasons in the year, Tishrei and Nissan, that represent the 2 primary approaches in serving Hashem. Tishrei is the root of the avoda of baalei teshuva, of מלמטה למעלה, it is when we begin saying tefilas geshem, - davening for the rain, which is a cycle that begins with the input of man. Nissan, on the other hand, is the root of the avoda of tzaddikim, of מלמעלה למטה, it is when we begin saying tefilas tal, - mentioning in davening the dew, which comes from above and is not dependent on man. So, it follows, that if the Tishrei is unsuccessful ch”v’ it is a whole 6 month chunk that we are missing out on (until Nissan, which marks the beginning of the new process)].
It may be very disappointing, disillusioning and/or disheartening. In fact, the thought may occur to us to quit. Not to give up on everything, ch”v, but to quit our Tishrei hopes. Maybe we have to come to the realization that our Tishrei expectations were unrealistic. It’s all good and fine to stand on Simchas Torah in shul (maybe even after a l’chayim or 2..) and scream “Atoh Horeiso lodaas”, and scream “ein od milvado” and – perhaps – mean it and be convinced.
But now, maybe, we have to come to terms with the fact that that’s not what the rest of the year is all about. We may be on the verge of quitting our Tishrei mode and reverting to the mindset of worldliness.
A Chassidic Story: Dancing with R’ Shmuel Gurary
[One of the chassidim, one Simchas Torah, found himself dancing with the famous gvir and philanthropist R’ Shmuel Gurary. For a long time, they danced and sang with fervour and intensity, holding each other in a Chassidic embrace. The chosid was excited, of course, about Simchas Torah. But in his mind he was also very aware (and, perhaps, excited) about the fact that: “Wow! I’m dancing with the wealthy R’ Shmuel Gurary”! This lasted for a very long time, and the chosid was sure that there would be some fringe benefit. After all, look whom he’s rubbing shoulders with. After Yom Tov, at the first opportunity, he put on his best suit, and hurried off to visit R’ Shmuel at his workplace. After all, they’re best friends now, aren’t they? Surely he can hope for some financial assistance or gift. R’ Shmuel was very preoccupied with his business responsibilities, and it took a while before he could come out to the waiting chosid. When he finally came to him, he asked him (perhaps rather brusquely) “What can I do for you?” The chosid was all excited: “R’ Shmuel, don’t you remember me? I’m the one who you danced with all day on Simchas Torah”. “Aha”, said R’ Shmuel, so what do you want now? You want to dance some more? Today it’s no longer Simchas Torah!”
On Simchas Torah we danced vigorously with our nefesh habehamis. We danced to “Ein Od Milvado”. We danced to Malchus cho malchus kol olamim. We danced to Sisu ve simchu be simchas Torah. We held each other in a tight Chassidic embrace, and were sure that we had a mutual understanding, that we had the foundation for a healthy ongoing partnership.
But after Simchas Torah, in cheshvon, when we expect (based on our Tishrei experience) that our nefesh habehamis will join us in bringing the influence of Tishrei into the entire year, it looks at us brusquely, coldly and impatiently and says: “What are you doing here? What do you want now? Today is not Simchas Torah!”]
But the Rebbe encourages us: ‘Don’t quit, don’t give up’. It may appear challenging and discouraging, it may seem that your present “world” is very far removed from the world of Tishrei. But if you are persistent, you will be successful; - you will be able to discover the wealth, the “reichkeit” of Tishrei and of living with Elokus even during the remainder of the year.
Parshas Noach: Persistence Amidst the Flood
In fact, this is the theme of Parshas Noach in the chassidisher Parsha (Tora Or): We may be inclined to be overwhelmed by the mayim rabim, - by the challenge of having to live in and deal with this mundane world, and have to be preoccupied with mundane pursuits. It seems to completely destroy our ability to be tuned into our neshomo, to live in the way that we were meant to live. It appears to be completely at odds with whatever we were into all Tishrei. It seems inevitable that we will be engulfed by the raging waters of worldliness, and drown in their shallowness.
But the Possuk reassures us otherwise: מים רבים לא יוכלו לכבות את האהבה. We have to maintain our persistence, to not quit. Specifically– בא אל התיבה, we have to put in the necessary effort–despite our unavoidable involvement in our material needs–to nonetheless attach enough focus and concentration into each word of davening and of learning. Each one of us can work on that at our own level, word by word and sentence by sentence, a bit more focus and a bit more concentration.
And then we are guaranteed–but it may take a bit of time and trust–that ultimately the flood of physicality that surrounds us will not only not hold us back from our ultimate goal, but, on the contrary, ותרם התיבה, the waters themselves elevate and enhance these words of our davening and make them even better than they would have been otherwise. The raging waters themselves become the source of our newfound material and spiritual wealth, of our successfully imbuing the entire year with the light and warmth of Tishrei.
And this becomes a close step to bringing us to the ultimate “wealth”–the ultimate “teivas Noach” when all creatures will once again live together in peace and harmony as they did in Noach’s Teiva, with the speedy arrival of Moshiach NOW!
L’chaim! Let us work on ourselves to make sure that we don’t quit ch”v, but, rather, extend the Tishrei into the year by putting more effort into every word of our davening and of our learning, and may the Eibishter shower each and every one of us with the most extreme wealth, both in the literal sense, as well as in the spiritual sense (in which kesef and zohov represent ahava and yirah), and especially and most importantly with the ultimate wealth, as we march immediately to Eretz Yisroel וכספם וזהבם אתם with the immediate revelation of Moshiach Tzidkeinu TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
