The worst part of Adam HaRishon’s sin was when he said: הָאִשָּה אֲשֶר נָתַתָּה עִמָּדִי it’s her fault, of the woman that You gave me, as if blaming Hashem for giving him this wife, and Rashi mentions how he was an ingrate. (Seforim). Before Adam had Chava, he tried marrying all kinds of animals, and he wasn’t satisfied until Chava. (Rashi). Why was this necessary?
Most probably this was to get him to appreciate Chava. A wife is a major Nisayon in a person’s life. Notice how the Malachim wanted to bring more Shalom Bayis to Avraham Avinu. They asked him where Sara is, and he proudly answered: הִנֵּה בָאֹהֶל (Vayeira 18:9) “She is inside the tent!” which Rashi explains: צְנוּעָה הִיא she is a Tz’nua (modest woman). And Rashi quotes Chazal who say they did this: בָּאוּ לְחַבְּבָהּ עַל בַּעְלָהּ to make her more beloved to her husband.
Even a Tzaddik like Avraham Avinu needed to love his Sara more and more, and at the ripe old age of 99! This is an ongoing Nisayon for all mankind, to constantly remind himself how lucky he (or she) is that he’s married altogether! In Novardok, I was told that most people don’t appreciate their wives enough.
The spouse is actually a #1 area of the goodness of Hashem in giving us a partner, as it says: לֹא טוֹב הֱיוֹת הָאָדָם לְבַדּוֹ (Bereishis 2:18) it is not good for a man to be alone. Of course, all your: רֹב אֵיבָרִים body parts and your life itself also need constant reminding to be grateful for them. The Velt says: “Love is work”; you don’t always love automatically. Hashem tests you to see if you’ll still love, even when things aren’t so perfect.
If you are a true Oved Hashem (like R’ Avigdor Miller Zatzal, and the Novardokers Zatzal) you would love Davka having a challenging spouse, since this makes you grow in Middos, which is the most important part of your life (but don’t look for trouble).
