QUESTION
I’m very involved in the local community, and I recently became aware of a family that is going through a difficult issue with one of their children. This has added a lot of stress to their home and has affected the other kids, too. One of their daughters, Rochel, asked if she could run a small day camp in our basement and backyard during the upcoming vacation. We agreed, even though my wife works from home. Can I tell my wife about this family’s issues so that she will be more sensitive to Rochel when she runs the camp in our home?
Benny
ANSWER
Speaking about someone’s family issue is forbidden unless there is a genuine constructive benefit, such as preventing loss or harm. Therefore, Benny must honestly assess the likelihood that a to’eles will actually result from revealing this matter.
Benny’s wife works from home, and the camp is bound to generate a lot of mess and noise, which makes it likely that Benny’s wife will have issues to address with Rochel. Since Rochel is going through a tough time, Benny’s wife should speak to her with extra sensitivity. Benny should tell his wife the minimum she needs to know to be mindful of Rochel’s feelings. A further to’eles could be that Benny’s wife could subtly be a support for Rochel in this difficult time. But since it is only a probable to’eles, Benny should only give the general story. Details are not necessary.
U FARATZTA
RABBI SHALOM BER MUNITZ
CHOFETZ CHAIM HERITAGE FOUNDATION
