Waiting Patiently for the Right Time
The Original Sin of Impatience
We have previously spoken about the principle that when a person is too impatient to wait until his needs are provided to him and tries to take matters into his own hands, it is a contradiction to proper bitachon, and this was the root of the sin of the הדעת עץ.
Hearing this, some may ask: So, should we no longer engage in hishtadlus?! Isn’t hishtadlus essentially taking matters into our own hands, trying to achieve success without Hashem giving it to us?! Let us thus learn how the Sefarim HaKedoshim understand the sin of the Eitz HaDa’as so we can gain clarity in this area and shed light on these very important questions.
Adam HaRishon Entered a Complete World
Adam HaRishon was created on the first Friday afternoon, after the entire creation was already in place, so that he should lack for nothing. Man was created into a world that was prepared for him with a tremendous shefa of everything good.
The Gemara (Berachos 61a) says regarding the pasuk צרתני וקדם אחור that Adam HaRishon was created אחור, the last of all the creations so that he should have everything ready for him when he came into the world.
The World Is Prepared for the Servant of Hashem
The truth is that each and every one of us comes into a world where everything has been prepared for us—just as a chassan comes into the wedding hall for dancing after everything has been set up; everything is prepared for his comfort and convenience.
Mesilas Yesharim elaborates on this in the introduction. He explains that the entire creation is here to serve the Yid who serves Hashem. Everything is set up and designed for his convenience. The Ribbono shel Olam has designed the world in this way, because the eved Hashem is a prince, and if he’s tethered to the Ribbono shel Olam, he needs to take nothing; everything will be given to him. Everything will come to him, and it will come at precisely the right time it is good for him.
Three Principles to Remember
To break it down, there are three yesodos that we must learn and reiterate regarding this point:
- Hashem has created the world in a complete and whole manner. It contains everything that humanity will need.
- He has designed the world so that we need not go out and take anything; Everything is given to us.
- A person will get everything he needs—precisely at the right moment. We say in Ashrei, בעתו אכלם את להם נותן ואתה, You give them their sustenance in its proper time. The Ribbono shel Olam gives it to you precisely when it is fitting and good for you to receive it.
Thus, we must know that everything is already here, it will be given to you, and it will be given to you when the time is precisely right.
Believe That It Will Come
But for a person to believe in the second principle—that everything is given to you—he must also believe in the third principle, that it is given when the time is right; he doesn’t need to take anything. When we tell a person, “You don’t need to take anything for yourself—it will be provided to you,” he may say, “This cannot be! Do you know how many phone calls I needed to make in order to obtain this?! Do you know how much effort I needed to invest in order to get what I needed?!”
The answer that you must first believe that it will come בעתו! Whatever you need will come in the proper time. And if you’re truly willing to wait patiently, then it will come to you with pleasantness, in the proper time, without too much effort!
If We Pick Prematurely, the Shefa May Still be Surrounded by Shells
Picking Prematurely
Sometimes, a person becomes impatient and says, “I don’t have time to wait until my needs are provided to me. I’m going to go out and get them myself.” What happens then? Very simple: He will obtain something unfinished. The Gemara (Sanhedrin 107a) refers to this as פגה אכלה, Adam HaRishon ate unripe fruit from the Eitz HaDa’as.
When Chazal seek to explain what happens when we take the shefa prematurely, they analogize it to taking unripe fruit that is not ready for consumption. When we eat such fruit, they’re hard and unpleasant. They don’t satisfy us, and it may even be harmful to our digestive system. The fruit is simply not meant to be eaten at this stage. The time has not yet arrived.
The very same thing happens when we grab shefa prematurely—before the time is right. The person may even achieve what he wants, but he won’t attain the serenity and the satisfaction that he should feel with such shefa. It’s exactly like eating unripe fruit; it only brings problems and drags the person down, because he consumed it before the time was right.
The Shell Grows First
Furtrhermore, when we look at the way fruit grows, we will see that in the beginning, when the fruit is tiny, the peel dominates. It’s larger than the tiny fruit inside. Slowly, as it ripens, the fruit becomes larger and more prominent, and the shell recedes to being a thin layer surrounding it. The sefarim describe it as לפרי קודמת קליפה, the peel precedes the fruit.
The sifrei kabbalah explain that the reason for this is that when shefa descends to the world, it must first be surrounded by kelipos, and the fruit must be removed from its outer shell. The Me’or Einayim (end of Parashas Va’eschanan) elaborates on the point that all shefa that comes to the world is at first surrounded by concealment, judgments, restrictions, and contractions.
As the process ensues, the fruit develops and ripens, and the kelipah becomes relegated to simply being a לפרי שומר, an outer protective layer for the fruit.
All Shefa Is Surrounded by Kelipos
The same thing plays out every time a person tries to take something before the time is right. When it comes to fruit, we see the actual shell—but in reality, all shefa comes surrounded by a thick layer of kelipah. For example, if a person managed to obtain a certain job or position—which would have come to him in any case—before the time was right, he took it when it wasn’t yet ripe, he may incur many effects from the kelipah that still surrounds it. He took it when it wasn’t ready for him, and it is still laden with problems. There’s a fusion of good and bad mixed into the shefa, and the unwanted elements may cause aggravation and problems.
This was Korach’s problem as well. The Arizal explains that the last letters of the יפר'ח כתמ'ר צדי'קsdrow form the name קרח. Korach would have merited greatness and stature—but he didn’t have the patience to wait until the time was right. Children do this sometimes: They hastily grab food that’s in front of them, becoming sullied in the process, instead of waiting until it is served to them with cleanliness and pleasantness. But adults are often guilty of the same thing: When shefa is taken prematurely, it will come accompanied by pain and heartache.
It Doesn’t Pay to Grab
This principle applies not only when we need great yeshuos—such as when we’re waiting for a shidduch for a child—but to every small thing we need in our lives as well. We must always reiterate and repeat these three yesodos: 1. The Ribbono shel Olam provides all my needs. 2. He will ensure that it gets to me. 3. If I haven’t yet received it, it means that the time isn’t yet right.
If we make the mistake of seeking to take it on our own, we may succeed in obtaining it, but we could have waited to receive it with pleasantness, and without all the attached kelipos. Even if it seems smooth at first, the kelipos are there, and they will eventually pop up in the form of unpleasantness and aggravation. This is part of the design of the world.
Taking Oneself Results Only in Loss
The holy Me’or Einayim once related that he lost his mother as a young child, and he was raised by his stepmother. When serving bread to the children, she would spread butter on the slices of bread that she gave to her own children, while leaving the young Menachem Nachum with bland, dry bread. This understandably hurt the young orphan very much, and one day, when he noticed a tub of white spread on the table, he spread a thick layer on his bread when his stepmother wasn’t looking.
But as soon as he took the first bite, he realized that this was not butter or cream, but plaster meant to coat the walls! Now he had no butter, and not even the customary dry bread!
On that day, the Rebbe said, “I learned that when we seek to take for ourselves, we can lose not only what we’re looking to take—but also what we already have!”
The Gemara’s List of Malcontents
This principle is found in a Gemara (Sotah 9a) that teaches הנותן :כלsu הימנו נוטלין שבידו ומה ,לו נותנין אין שמבקש מה ,שלו שאינו במה עיניו, one who casts an eye on what isn’t for him is not given what he desires, and what he already has is taken from him. The Gemara indicates that the Nachash was one of those who cast his eye on things that weren’t meant for him, and this is why he lost everything.
Chazal go on to list ten important figures in history who did the same, and indeed, they lost what they already had.
Taking something before the time is right is the very same as taking something that isn’t meant for us—for at that time it’s indeed not meant for us. We can receive shefa only once the Ribbono shel Olam has decreed that it is time. If we take it before the time, it may chalilah bring aggravation and disappointment.
Taking Preemptively May Prolong the Wait
The Punishment Is a Direct Outgrowth of the Sin
Prior to the sin of Adam HaRishon, a person did not need to toil for his food and for his needs. When the world was created, everything was prepared for him. If Adam HaRishon had waited until Shabbos, it would have remained that way. But because he ate from the Eitz HaDa’as before the proper time, he earned the curse of לחם תאכל אפיך בזיעת.
The Ohr HaChaim HaKadosh teaches in a number of places the concept of רעתך תיסרך, your evil shall castigate you—that is, punishment doesn’t simply come to a person out of nowhere; it is the evil itself that causes the punishment. The person brings it upon himself through his action.
Thus, when Adam HaRishon took the food preemptively, before its time, it brought the punishment of prolonging the wait and incurring great toil, for himself, and for all eternity. Because, when we try to rush things before their time, we actually distance it even more. Had he waited, he would always have had his food pleasantly delivered to him. Since he took it prematurely, he was cursed to have to toil for his food.
The Snake’s Whisper—Then and Now
The Ribbono shel Olam assures us that He will provide everything we need in its proper time—but the snake whispers, it will not come on its own; you must do something for it. If you’ll work day and night... you’ll keep calling people... if you’ll be up nights... then you’ll get what you need. If not, it won’t come to you.
Go down to the person’s home, knock on his door, and tell him clearly that you need this right this minute.... This is exactly what the Nachash told Adam HaRishon, “If you won’t take from the Eitz HaDa’as now, you will never get it. Don’t be a fool. Go and take it!”
Close to Hashem—Close to the Shefa
When a person listens to this whisper, the punishment of prolonging automatically comes... and the shefa is stifled. You thought that you can bring it closer, you thought that you can take it alone—and this only pushes it further away. Because when a person submits himself to Hashem, he becomes closer to Hashem, and thus closer to the shefa. But if he thinks that he can take for himself, he becomes distant from Hashem, and thus distant from the shefa as well.
So says the No’am Elimelech (Parashas Beshalach) on the pasuk ויצאו ולקטו העם, the people would go out and collect (the mahn): When the Yidden became distant from Hashem, they needed to go out further to collect their food. Those who lack emunah must travel distances for their food. It takes longer, and it involves more toil.
It’s not the Ribbono shel Olam Who distances the shefa—it is our attitudes and actions alone. If a person thinks he can take things with his own two hands, he has lost his emunah, and he has thus become distanced from the Source of shefa.
Haste Makes Waste
A perfect example of this is when parents send their child on an errand, and the child is delayed in coming back by a few minutes. Frantic, they send a second child to go and look for him. In the meantime, the first child comes back long before the second one who was meant to bring him back, and they must send a third child to collect the second one...
The parents wanted to wrap things up quickly, but instead prolonged the saga by an hour.
Losing Your Place in Line
Another example is when a person is standing in line at the supermarket, and he realizes that the line is very long. I have no patience to wait. I’ll go next door to another supermarket. Arriving there, he finds an even longer line! He runs back to the first store, but in the meantime, the line grew much longer.... Now he must go to the back of the line, and he wll be forced wait twice as long as he would have had to wait initially.
This isn’t a necessarily a punishment. It’s the way the world has been designed to operate if one doesn’t have emunah, and he doesn’t want to wait patiently for Hashem to provide his needs,
The Ribbono shel Olam knew how many people will be standing in line. He could have made people choose other shopping locations. Why did everyone have to come precisely to this store at this time? If this person—standing in line originally—would have believed that it must take this long, he would have been out of the store in fifteen minutes! But he wanted to rush things, and now he must wait even longer.
Distance from “the Sin” Hastens Salvation
Prior to the Cheit, Everyone Knew the Truth
Were it not for the sin of Adam HaRishon, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion; everyone would understand with clarity that all our needs come from the Ribbono shel Olam. Why would we need to be told not to try and take before the time? Just as no one runs elsewhere to grab fresh air—they understand that it’s delivered to them wherever they are.
No one says, “You know that oxygen is the most important thing in a person’s life.... We can’t just leave it to chance. We can’t just assume that it will come.” Everyone knows that the Ribbono shel Olam gives us precisely as much oxygen as we need to live. This is the way the entire world was before the sin of Adam HaRishon; everything was prepared and provided in front of the person.
Now It’s Our Choice
But the cheit brought about a new situation—one in which the needs of a person are distanced from him. Now, it depends on the person himself as to how his needs will be provided for him. The choice is ours—and for every person it changes constantly, depending on his thoughts, words, and deeds.
If a person believes that Hashem will provide everything in its proper time, then he will obtain his needs easily. But if a person perpetuates the cheit of Adam HaRishon—that is, he performs exaggerated hishtadlus to get what he needs—then he will perpetuate, R”l, the curse of בזיעת לחם תאכל אפיך. Even if, in the moment, it seems that his efforts bore fruit, he will see that in the long term his exaggerated hishtadlus set him back. This is built into the creation of the world: Just as it happened for Adam HaRishon, so too does it happen for everyone who repeats his mistake.
The Lies of the Yetzer Hara
Sometimes, a person is so enmeshed in this twisted mindset that he runs around for a month in a frenzy to resolve a certain matter. If you would tell this person that the matter would have been resolved regardless of his efforts, he would look at you and say: How can you speak this way?! If not for my efforts, it would have taken me a year to get this!
The truth is the precise opposite. His efforts and frenzied toil have only distanced it. The reason it took as long as it did is because the time hadn’t yet arrived! But he didn’t bring it any closer. There’s absolutely no way that a person can—on his own—make things happen any sooner than is meant to be. It may seem this way sometimes, but the Chovos HaLevavos tells us that it’s not this way! It’s a lie that the yetzer hara tries to perpetuate.
Talk Rather Than Take
We must all seek to move away from the cheit of Adam HaRishon! When we need something—rather than making efforts to take it, we should talk to Hashem about it! And when we remember about it again, we should daven for it again!
When the ba’al bitachon feels himself in a tight spot—he needs something badly—he invests his energies into turning to Hashem. Instead of toiling to resolve it on his own or making many phone calls, he takes this energy and pours it into speaking to Hashem. He will then see with his own eyes how everything changes.
Renewing Our Bitachon Every Day
This is a tremendous yesod to remember: After the cheit of Adam HaRishon, everything depends on our avodah. If we distance ourselves from the cheit, if we refuse to perpetuate it, the yeshuah will be nearer. But if a person insists on repeating the mistake, he will only distance what is already meant to come to him. This is taught to us by none other than the Tanna haEloki Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai who tells us (Berachos 35b) אחרים ע"י נעשית מלאכתו זכה, if a person merits it, his work is done for him by others. That is, the entire creation accommodates the person who trusts in Hashem, just as it did prior to the cheit.
This isn’t a black-and-white phenomenon. There are various levels in meriting this. One day, a person may be on a higher level, and then the creation will work along with him. And when he finds himself in a lower level of bitachon, the creation may not accommodate him as much. This can happen to even the greatest of ba’alei bitachon. We need to constantly pick ourselves up, and seek to return to the world as it was before the cheit—with everything provided to us in its proper time.
