So he told his mother that a gang of shekatzim, gentile shekatzim, came and knocked the basket out of his hand onto the floor and they seized the rolls and ran off.
So the mother gave him a slap.
He said, “Why are you hitting me? It wasn't my fault.”
So the mother said, “When you saw the shekatzim grabbing the rolls, why didn't you also grab one? At least something you could have grabbed.”
Stealing From your Wife
So the Chafetz Chaim said: people are going to tell Hakadosh Baruch Hu it's not our fault. My wife took away some time from me. My children took away time. My customers. My relatives. I had no time. Everybody was taking my time away.
So Hakadosh Baruch Hu will say, “Why didn't you take some for yourself too?”
And that's the big principle that we're talking about now. Everyone must make time to sit alone, in quiet seclusion, to think about themselves. It's impossible otherwise for a person to hope for success in this world unless he is able to tear himself away at least for a little while in order to take account of himself. It's a vital necessity for everybody.
A Businessman’s Attitude
Don't you see the storekeepers, said the Mesillas Yesharim, that they take inventory? From time to time they make an accounting. They have to see what stock was sold, what's left on the shelves. Which items go better, which less, where’s the higher profit. You can't stay in business and just hand merchandise across the counter and get money back. Maybe you're losing money.
Same thing all of us. Day after day you’ll just go through the same procedure without taking an inventory? “Am I accomplishing? Maybe I’m losing over here or over there. Maybe I could do better in this or that. Maybe less of this and more of that.” And therefore, everybody must take account; just as a businessman must, everybody must take account of his own business.
Accounting: The First ledger
Now, the Mesillas Yesharim says there are two kinds of cheshbonos, two kinds of calculations. One calculation, the one we’re most familiar with – I’m not saying we do it but at least we’re aware of the concept – is when you spend some time thinking about your faults; what sins and blemishes you have in order to become more perfect.
You’d be surprised. If you’ll search you’ll find plenty of things you didn't realize. Oh yes, plenty of things you overlook, sometimes serious things that you did. I look back and I regret; I made big mistakes. If you'll search you'll find. Certainly you'll find.
Sometimes a man has embarked on a wrong way even in one detail. Could be he’s a fine Jew but he has a bad tongue; he belittles people. Maybe he doesn’t speak to his wife the way he should. Maybe he doesn’t come to daven on time like he should. Other things, bigger things. I would say them out loud but I know that I’ll be stepping on some people’s corns. But everyone on his own must make this accounting with himself at regular intervals.
Accounting: The Second ledger
But there’s a second accounting that you have to search for the Mesillas Yesharim says. He says that you have to make time for thinking about the good things you're doing. וֹוֹב נִמְ צָא בּמַה מִ ן הַט – You have to make an accounting to discover your good qualities (3:6).
Now, that’s surprising. Why do you have to study that? What's the purpose? To compliment yourself? To us it seems that it shouldn't enter the cheshbon at all. Who wants to see what's good? We'll become conceited. We'll be bloated with pride! We have to see only what's wrong with us. We have to have a low opinion of ourselves and know what we have to rid ourselves of. But to see our good deeds? That doesn't seem necessary at all.
And he explains why it is necessary. Because a person can have good things but he doesn't know he has them. He never thinks about it and if he doesn't know, sometimes he might throw them away recklessly. So the Mesillas Yesharim says you must study the good things you have ַ תְ מִ י דְּ דֵ י שׁ ֶ יּ כָהֶםֵּק בָּהֶם וְיִתְ חַ זּב– so that you should continue them and hold onto them.
Don’t Squander!
There are a lot of good things that we have that we squander. Many people are busy not only not gaining good things, but they’re busy losing good things they already have.
It’s a great pity that people are constantly throwing away good habits that they have, constantly giving up certain good practices and attitudes that they started. They live life recklessly and don’t pay attention to what’s slipping out of their hands. It's only if you appreciate what you have that you're able to hold onto it.
You’re learning well? Compliment yourself and think of ways and means of holding on to that. Sometimes you need to think of tachbulos, stratagems. Where you’ll sit in the beis medrash, what you’ll learn. You’re davening well? Hold on tight. Think of ways and means to not let go. Maybe a good sefer with peirush hatefillah. Maybe you’ll come to shul a few minutes earlier.
Holding on to Character
Sometimes you have good middos – when you were younger you practiced your good middos. But now you’re older you go into the business world and you think that now you have to get businessman's middos, other ways of behavior. Nothing doing! The middos you had when you were young and you were practicing avodas Hashem, keep holding on to them tightly.
Sometimes there are good things that were put into you by your parents. A young man and a young woman have to include that in their accounting. How can I hold on to that? You know when parents leave you money or they leave you property, you have to take care of it. You make plans for that. So if your mother and father taught you good middos, Jewish middos, watch over them. Now you’re a big boy or a big girl and the street, the environment, is pressing down on you all the time. The street wants you to have Irish middos, Italian middos. Nothing doing! You have to think about your good ways, your good attitudes and character traits, and think of ways how to hold on to them.
Maybe you’re a bashful boy. You don’t talk to girls. Bashfulness! An excellent middah. Maybe your mother taught you to speak nicely. One time she put soap in your mouth when you said something you shouldn’t and you learned to have a clean mouth. Hold on to that very tightly! Include that in your accounting all the time. Think about ways and means of encouraging your good attitudes, of sticking to them.
The Great Accounting Schedule
And so it’s not enough to have a cheshbon to understand what you have to fix, the sins and blemishes you need to fix. You must also have a cheshbon to know what you have in order to hold onto it and not to yield, to be stubborn and to persist in it. And to succeed in that great avodah – taking time to think about yourself and uproot the bad and strengthen the good – every person has to be aware of that obstacle of hatipul vehatirdah, the busyness of life, that holds us back from our upwards climb towards shleimus.
And so, to conclude, we’ll repeat the words of our great teacher, the Mesillas Yesharim (3:12): לָאָ דָ םְוְהִ נְנִי רוֹאֶ ה צֹרֶ ך – I think that there is a necessity for man,ְיוֹמוְֹּ בַר יוֹם בְּ רָ כָיו דֵּ ק וְשׁ וֹקֵ ל דִּהְיֶה מְ דַ קְ דּשֶׁ י – to be careful and weigh his ways every day,ָל עִ סְ קֵ יהֶ םָּ מִ יד כּ תְּסוּדוֹלִים אֲ שֶׁ ר יְפַ לְּסוֹחֲ רִ ים הַ גּכ – like the successful merchants who make an exact accounting every day,ּא יִ תְ קַ לְ קְ ל וֹלְ מַ עַ ן ל – in order that nothing should go wrong; it means that the bad things he’ll get rid of and the good things he’ll strengthen, א יִהְיֶהִֹּ ים וְשָׁ עוֹת לָזֶה שֶׁ לַּע עִתּוְיִקְבמִ שׁ ְ קָ ל ו ֹ עֲ רַ א י – and he should set for himself times and hours for this accounting so that it should not be haphazard, אּוֹלָדָ ה הוִּי רַ ב הַתָּדוֹל כִּקְבִיעוָּא בּאֶל – but rather with great consistency because there is tremendous profit in this way of living.
Have a Wonderful Shabbos
