Although the mitzvah of peru urevu is mentioned in last week’s parsha, according to some Rishonim the mitzvah is actually found in this week’s parsha in the pasuk: ואתם פרו ורבו שרצו בארץ ורבו בה – “And you shall be fruitful and multiply, swarm the land and fill it” (Bereishis 9:7), and the pasuk in last week’s sedra:ויברך אותם אלקים ויאמר להם אלוקים פרו ורבו – “And G-d blessed them, and said to them ‘be fruitful and multiply’” (Bereishis 1:28) was a blessing and not a commandment (see Ramban, on this week’s parsha).
Last week we discussed the principal obligation to have children, this week we will discuss the question of going beyond the basic obligation. As we saw, a person fulfills the obligation (or is exempted from the obligation) of peru urevu after the birth of a son and a daughter. But his duty does not end there.
Aside from the mitzvah of peru urevu, Chazal note an additional mitzvah:
“Rabbi Yehoshua said: Even if a man married a wife in his youth, he should marry a wife in his old age; if he had children in his youth, he should have children in his old age, as it is said: Sow your seed in the morning, and do not rest your hand in the evening. For you do not know who will prove worthy, this one or that, or whether both are equally good. ... Rabbi Masna said: The halachah is according to Rabbi Yehoshua” (Yevamos 62b).
The status of this duty, which is often referred to as la’erev al tanach yadecha (“do not rest your hand in the evening”) or the mitzvah of lasheves (“for populating,” based on the words of the pasuk (Yeshayahu 45:18) “He did not create it for emptiness; He fashioned it to be inhabited”), is unclear. Is it a rabbinic enactment to beget more children? What are the parameters of the mitzvah, and which considerations can defer it? Are women included in the obligation? Read on and be enlightened.
The Rambam
The Rambam in Hilchos Ishus (15:16) writes: “Although a man has fulfilled the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying, he is bound by a rabbinic enactment not to refrain from being fruitful and multiplying as long as he is physically potent. For anyone who adds a soul to the Jewish people is considered as if he built an entire world.”
The wording of the Rambam suggests that there is a rabbinic mitzvah to have children beyond the basic obligation of peru urevu. The Rambam does not mention the pasuk noted in the above Gemara (“Sow your seed in the morning, and do not rest your hand in the evening”), which he thus presumably understands as a mere support, and not as the full source for the obligation. Instead, he gives a general rationale: “Anyone who adds a soul to the Jewish people is considered as if he built an entire world.”
There is inherent value in bringing children to the world. This value stands at the center of the chiyuv derabonon [rabbinic duty] to continue having children even after one has fulfilled the Torah obligation of peru urevu.
Gravity of the Mitzvah
What is the gravity of the mitzvah to have additional children? The mitzvah of having additional children, which is a mitzvah derabonon, is of course not on the same level as the chiyuv de’O’raisa of peru urevu. But which standing did Chazal give the mitzvah?
An indication of the answer to this question is found in the halachos of selling a sefer Torah.
The Gemara (Megillah 27a) teaches that it is generally forbidden to sell a sefer Torah; even when a person is in dire financial straits, and even for the purpose of fulfilling a mitzvah (such as a person who does not have tefillin or a mezuzah), it is forbidden to sell a sefer Torah. However, it is permitted to sell a sefer Torah for two specific mitzvos: Torah study, and to marry.
The Gemara explains that these mitzvos are special in that the entire Torah depends on their performance. Torah study is special, in that only through the study of Torah can the Torah be correctly performed. Getting married is special, since the world was created to be populated: “He did not create it for emptiness; He fashioned it to be inhabited.”
This ruling raises the question: Is it permitted to sell a sefer Torah even for the purpose of funding a second marriage, after the husband already fulfilled the mitzvah of peru urevu? The answer is a machlokes Rishonim [dispute amongst the authorities].
According to several Rishonim (see Nimukei Yosef, Yevamos 62b, explaining the ruling of the Rif), the permission to sell a sefer Torah for funding a marriage applies only when a person has not yet fulfilled the mitzvah of peru urevu. Once the mitzvah has been fulfilled by someone, he is not permitted to sell a sefer Torah to have additional children. This opinion is ruled by the Shulchan Aruch (Even Ha’Ezer 1:8).
However, many Rishonim opine that even after a person has performed the basic mitzvah of peru urevu, he remains permitted to sell a sefer Torah in order to have more children in another marriage. This is the opinion of the Rosh (as noted by the Tur, Even Ha’Ezer 1) and the Ramban (Yevamos; see also Beis Yosef, Even Ha’Ezer 1, who mentions additional opinions) and is mentioned as “some say” by the Shulchan Aruch. The Beis Shmuel (1:16) writes that this is also the operative halachic ruling.
Thus, although the mitzvah may only be a mitzvah derabonon, the duty to have additional children is considered—certainly according to the latter opinion—a duty that has special weight.
Concerning the general mitzvah to populate the world many poskim maintain that this duty applies to men and women equally, and therefore, one may even sell a sefer Torah to enable a woman to get married, (as ruled by the Beis Shmuel 2:1; Maharam Alshakar 72; Kenesses Hagedola, Magen Avraham 153:9; Mishnah Berurah 153:24). (This is unlike the Chelkas Mechokek, Even Ha’Ezer 1:1, who limits the application to a man and not to a woman.) The world was made to be inhabited, and it is our duty, men and women alike, to ensure this end is fulfilled.
Refraining from Marital Relations
While the mitzvah of begetting additional children receives special weight, based on the great value of populating the world, several sources indicate that, unlike other mitzvos derabonon, the mitzvah is not absolute.
The Rambam rules that it is permitted for a married couple to refrain from engaging in marital relations, provided that this is by mutual consent: “It is permissible for a woman to authorize her husband to ignore her conjugal rights. When does this apply? When he has children already and has fulfilled the mitzvah to be fruitful and multiply. If, however, he has not fulfilled the mitzvah of being fruitful and multiplying, he is obligated to engage in marital relations whenever his conjugal duties require, until he fathers children” (Hilchos Ishus 15:1).
The Taz (Even Ha’Ezer 1:1) and the Beis Shmuel (1:1) question this ruling, which seems to contradict the later ruling of the Rambam (15:16) which notes the obligation to continue to father children even after the obligation of peru urevu has been fulfilled. Given this additional obligation, how is it permitted for a couple to refrain from cohabitation, so that they will not fulfill the duty of having additional children?
Citing the Chida, the Pischei Teshuvah (1:1) resolves this difficulty by explaining that the rabbinic obligation to continue having children is not equal to the Torah obligation to “be fruitful and multiply.” One is required, according to the Chida, to endeavor “from time to time” to continue to father children, but there is no need to do so at the same level as somebody who has not yet fulfilled the Torah mitzvah.
Despite the great value accorded to populating the world, it emerges that there is no obligation to beget as many children as possible, at all costs.
Shalom Bayis
The Rema (Even Ha’Ezer 1:8) cites a ruling of the Terumas HaDeshen (no. 263), who discusses the situation of one who was widowed after having children, and now has two options for remarriage.
On the one hand, he can marry a woman who is able to have children, yet he fears that this marriage will cause rift and strife between his children and his new wife. On the other hand, he can marry a woman who is unable to bear children, but is known for her calmness of spirit and she will not cause any strife with his children. What should he do? [The actual question notes that he planned to take the second option, and questions if this is correct.]
As cited by the Rema, the Terumas HaDeshen answers that under the circumstances, it is preferable to wed the woman who cannot bear children: peace of the home takes precedence. The Terumas HaDeshen bases his ruling on the Gemara which rules that we advise one to perform chalitzah and not yibum if performing yibum will cause friction.
The Chelkas Mechokek (1:12) questions the logic of this ruling: If it is permitted to sell a sefer Torah to have additional children, how is it permitted to defer the mitzvah because of concern for harmony? He further questions the proof of the Terumas HaDeshen from yibum since chalitzah is also a mitzvah.
We should note further that although the duty to populate the world applies to women just as to men (as noted above), the Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 21:26) rules that it is permitted for a woman—who does not have the obligation of peru urevu—to remain unmarried throughout her life (or to marry a man who is incapable of bearing children). The duty to populate the world is a great responsibility, but it can sometimes be deferred by other values.
Conclusion
Even after one has fulfilled the basic mitzvah of peru urevu by having a boy and a girl, there is still a mitzvah derabonon to continue having more. This mitzvah is seen by the Torah and Chazal as a supreme virtue, which fulfills a basic purpose of the world. At the same time, once the Torah obligation of peru urevu is fulfilled, the duty to have additional children is balanced by other factors in a person’s life, if one has any questions regarding this topic I refer you to a competent halachic authority and not to your local doctor, who may have very different opinions to your rov.
(Based on a halachah write-up written by R’ Yehoshua Pfeffer)
