By Rabbi David Ashear
By the time Avrohom* turned twenty-five, he had already watched every one of his friends and former classmates marry. He was learning in yeshivah, but felt terribly uncomfortable being the oldest bachur there. Meanwhile, his younger sister Shaindel* reached marriageable age and a promising shidduch was suggested. Their parents did not want to allow her to start shidduchim without Avraham’s consent, but he was reluctant to give it. His family understood how he felt and declined the shidduch offer.
Six months later, the same promising shidduch was suggested again. This time, a rabbi who was close to their family called Avraham, explaining that the shidduch being suggested for Shaindel seemed very appropriate. “You will not lose out if your sister gets engaged before you!” the rabbi assured him. “Whoever is mevater (gives in or forgives) never loses out! On the contrary, perhaps this is Hashem’s way of sending you an opportunity to do a great deed, which will pave the way for your own shidduch. Hashem runs the world, and if your sister is meant to get engaged before you, it’s going to happen one way or another, whether you like it or not. But now, you have an opportunity to be mevater. Don’t let it pass.”
The rabbi’s sincere words entered Avraham’s heart, and he gave Shaindel his blessing. As expected, within a short time she was engaged. When his sister introduced her chosson to her brother, the chosson took one look at Avraham and had a great idea for a shidduch–- his first cousin! She turned out to be a perfect match, and they announced their engagement, even before Shaindel’s engagement party! In this case, the chessed Hashem did for him was a direct result of the chessed he did for his sister.
(Excerpted from the ArtScroll book – “Living Emunah on Shidduchim”)
Reprinted from the Parshas Ki Savo 5784 email of The Weekly Vort.
