By Rabbi David Ashear
Judy* was an older single in her forties. As the years marched on, her hopes of marrying were dwindling – but she refused to give up. Along with strengthening her tefillos, she decided she needed to become more open to shidduch suggestions. Until then, she had clung fast to a list of requirements on which she would never compromise.
Number one, the man could not have an accent; number two, he could not be divorced (and surely not have children!); and number three, he could not be someone who wanted his wife to cover her hair, as that was something she could not see herself doing.
Recently, it occurred to Judy that perhaps Hashem really did have someone for her, but she was not allowing herself to meet him because of “the list.” Judy put her requirements aside, and she is now happily married to the man she had been waiting for.
She does not feel as if she settled on anything less than the best. Her husband does have an accent – and she loves it. He was divorced, and she understands why it happened. He also has children, and she loves the way he interacts with them.
As for covering her hair, she is doing it happily at her husband’s request. She has learned more about the beauty of that mitzvah, and feels uplifted by it. Judy transformed her life from a bleak and seemingly endless situation and is now happily married to a man who doesn't fit any of the criteria she initially had on her checklist. (Excerpted from the ArtScroll book – “Living Emunah on Shidduchim”)
Reprinted from the Parshas Ki Sisa 5785 email of The Weekly Vort.
