The passuk says . וּשָׂﬠ ןֵכּ 'ה הָוִּצ רֶשֲׁאַכּ הָּתֹא וּשָׂﬠ הֵנִּהְו הָכאָלְמַּה לָכּ תֶא הֶשׁמ אְרַיַּולט מHaRav Shamshon Refoel Hirsh Zatzal points out how the greatest Madrega of a person is becoming an Eved Hashem, where he happily nullifies his personal agendas in order to do Ratzon Hashem; not his own Ratzon. This was the Chisaron of the Bamos private Mizbeach’s [during the few years in history this was permitted] which could only be used for your own: תוֹבָדְנוּ םיִרָדְנ voluntary Korbanos, versus the main Mizbeach where you can bring: םיִבוּיִח obligatory Korbanos, like a Korban Chatas or Korban Pesach.
Look how Avraham Avinu [who was known for Ahava and Chesed] is told to kill his own son in the Ma'aseh Akeida. When the soft Baal Chesed can also be the opposite, then: אֵרְי יִכּ יִתְּﬠַדָי הָתַּﬠ הָתַּא םיִק˄ֱא וירא כב יב we know he is a true Y'rei Elokim.
Before Dovid HaMelech was Niftar, he called his son Shlomo and told him: שׁיִאְל ָתיִיָהְו ָתְּקַזָחְו מ"א ב ב Be a MAN! The name “Shlomo” means peace, and indeed there were no wars during his reign. And he built the Bais Hamikdash, which may not have any iron used on its Mizbeach, since iron symbolizes war. Davka Shlomo, the man of peace, needs to be advised regarding the killing Shim'i ben Gera who was his Rebbe, and Yoav, who was his cousin. Shlomo also killed Adoniyahu ben Chagis, who was his half-brother.
For a soft, Eidel, person to become a tough Ish, he needs loads of Chizuk. There are two times where it says Chizuk by Dovid. The first time is when Dovid and his men had just found out that their wives and children had been captured by the Amaleikim, it says: ויָק˄ֱא 'הַבּ דִוָדּ קֵזַּחְתִיַּו ש"א ל ו Dovid was M'chazek himself [with his trust] in Hashem, and the Chofetz Chaim points out that he was Mis'chazek in Middas HaBitachon, and therefore he was able to wipe out the Amaleikim and save his families.
The second time it says Chizuk by Dovid is when he told his son: שׁיִאְל ָתיִיָהְו ָתְּקַזָחְו ב ב א"מ Be a MAN! Just as a person needs to be M'chazek in Bitachon, so must he always be M'chazek in holding from himself, and seeing himself as an important and strong Ish. Very often, these two Avodos are what’s most needed, especially in our Dor where there is unending low-self-esteem, and people are fragile from lack of Emuna and Bitachon.
This is why we try to combine Slabodka [Gadlus HaAdam] and Novardok [Bitachon], and our main Mussar Vaadim should be loaded with constant Chizuk in these areas.
The true “Ish” is the person who is M'vatel annuls his Daas to Ratzon Hashem, and can do opposite Avoda’s when needed.
Novardokers were generally soft as butter, and they worked hard on Menucha and Eidelkeit. Yet, I saw how Reb Gershon could suddenly become very tough to the very same people he was trying to be M'karev, when Kavod Shamayim was involved.
Just as it’s difficult to work on Bitachon, so is it difficult to constantly judge yourself L'kaf Zechus, despite your many mistakes and Aveiros. If your nature is to put yourself down, you have a holy obligation to work on blowing yourself up constantly.
