A very wealthy person sent his two sons to a distant land, and occasionally, the father would send them gifts or money. Once, the father sent only one jacket, and he didn't say which son it was for. When such matters occurred, the brothers generally found an amicable way to choose which brother would get the item. The other brother was mevater. But this time, a costly diamond was in the jacket's pocket, and each brother claimed that the jacket was sent specifically for him. It turned into a major fight. Their loud voices were heard outside the home, and neighbors came in to offer their opinions.
After this went on for some time, someone came in and asked what the commotion was all about. They told him about the jacket, the precious diamond in its pocket, and the uncertainty of whom the father intended to send the gift. The person replied, "It isn't hard to figure out who their father intended it for. Just see which brother fits into the jacket." The thin brother put on the jacket and it fit him perfectly. The heavyset brother didn't even try to put it on. He admitted that their father intended to send the gift to his brother.
The nimshal is that sometimes we see wealth by others, and we think that it should be ours. But it wasn't intended for you. It doesn't suit you. And therefore, there is no reason to be jealous.
Reb Meir Tzvi Roth Shlita told me that years ago when he lived in Bnei Brak, he owned a sefarim store, which many gedolei Yisrael would frequent. Once, the Steipler Gaon zt'l was in his story to buy sefarim, and Reb Meir Tzvi tied them up in a bundle so it would be easier for the Steipler to carry home. (There were no plastic bags in those days.) Someone offered the Steipler to carry home his bundle. The Steipler wittily replied, "Every person carries his own bundle." Each person carries his personal package of tzaros, and no one can carry it for him.
At airports, many suitcases lie around, and often, no one is watching. Why don't people just pick up a stranger’s suitcase and take it home? Perhaps they will find expensive items inside. The answer is that they are worried, "Who knows what is in this suitcase? Maybe I will be caught at customs control carrying contraband." The nimshal is that sometimes you see someone else's package, it appears beautiful from the outside. But you don't want it because you don't know what is really inside.
Besides, why should you be jealous of the wealthy? How do you know who got the better deal? How do you know that their grass is greener? You might have received the better portion, and if anything, the wealthy should be jealous of you!
Story of Perspective
We begin with a story: A woman from a wealthy family married a kollel yungerman. She understood that this would mean she would need to live on a much lower budget than what she was accustomed to. When they had a baby, she wanted to buy the most expensive baby carriage, but she knew this wasn't in their kollel-family budget. She didn't have the heart to buy the simplest brand of carriages, so she allowed herself to buy a level above the lowest.
As she was in the store making this purchase, another couple also bought a carriage for their newborn baby, and they went straight to the most expensive carriages. They didn't even look at the cheaper models. When the kollel woman saw this, she couldn't help feeling jealous. She wished she would be in that section, too.
She then watched as they quickly moved on to the cribs section. Once again, the couple only looked at the most expensive models. The kollel woman watched from a distance with jealousy. She wished this was her portion. But then the husband asked his wife, "Will there be room in the baby's room for this crib and for the respirator?" When the kollel-woman heard this, her jealousy vanished in a moment. Although she bought a simple carriage, baruch Hashem, she had a healthy child. She realized that there is no reason to be jealous of others because it could be that she has the better portion.
Reb Yankele Galinsky zt'l said that this is hinted at in the words לרעך אשר וכל ...תחמוד לא. The final words לרעך אשר וכל mean that when you are jealous of your fellow man, think about receiving לרעך אשר כל the entire package, everything your fellow man has, the good and the bad, and then it is likely that you won't want his portion.
The Value of Poverty
Furthermore, we shouldn't be jealous of the wealthy because many good things come from being poor. The Gemara (Bava Basra 10:) says that Reb Yosef, the son of Reb Yehoshua ben Levi, was niftar for a short time, and when he returned to this world, he said that he saw למעלה ותחתונים למטה עליונים, "The people above are below, and the people below are above." Rashi explains, "Those who are considered great in this world because of their wealth, I saw that there they are at a low level in heaven. And I saw the poor, who we considered to be low in this world, that they are honored there." His father told him, "You saw a true world."
The truth is, every situation in life is a test. As the Mesilas Yesharim (1) writes, "Everything in the world, the good and the bad, are tests for mankind. Poverty on one side, and wealth on the other..." One can grow from every situation. But there are certainly benefits to being poor.
When the Chofetz Chaim’s rebbetzin was niftar, the Chofetz Chaim requested that she be buried next to a poor woman. He explained, “In Tehillim (109:31), it states, כי אביון לימין יעמוד, "For Hashem stands at the right-hand side of the poor." The pasuk doesn’t say that Hashem stands to the right side of a tzaddik or to the right-hand side of a gaon in Torah. The poor merit it; therefore, I want my wife to be near the poor.”
Reb Shlomo Kluger zt”l also requested in his will that they bury him near a poor person, as long as this poor person acted with kashrus (yiras Shamayim) in his lifetime.
