A husband who wanted to dress up as King Solomon for Purim
One husband approaches his wife and excitedly announces to her: "I found an idea for a costume!" "Why do you want to dress up?" the woman asked. "I want to be King Solomon!" replied the husband. "Can you arrange a robe, crown and 1,000 young women to hang around me all day?" "I'm willing to help you dress up as Pharaoh," the woman said. "How exactly will you help me?" asked the curious husband. "I'll give you 10 plagues!"
The man who wanted to buy his wife a musical instrument as a gift
One older man enters a musical instrument store and asks to consult with the seller. "I'm looking for a musical instrument to buy for my wife. She's about to retire and she wants to stay home with me all day and learn to play something. What do you offer me?" The salesman took the man on a tour of the store and explained the various options. "Guitar is a classic choice that doesn't require a lot of space at home and it's easy to find teachers or even study on your own, but for some people it's a bit banal. A piano is also a great choice - it's an instrument that produces very relaxing sounds, but you have to take into account that it takes up a lot of space. If your wife is willing to work hard, you can also consider violin, which is a very elegant instrument." "I was actually thinking more about something like a trumpet or a saxophone," the man said. "Wind instruments in my opinion don't really fit the situation you're describing; is there a special reason you think your wife should start with such an instrument?" the salesman asked. "Yes," the man replied, "at least that way when she plays, she won't be able to talk."
The secret to longevity
Everyone asked the elderly 100-year-old and his 98-year-old wife what their secret to longevity was. The old man said: "Well, I'll tell you what my secret is. I've been married for 75 years. I've promised my wife since we got married that every time we fight, the loser would walk 5 kilometers. So that's how I walked 5 kilometers every day for 75 years." Everyone applauded him and asked, "Wait, but how is your wife so healthy too?" "It's another secret," said the old man, "for 75 years, every day, she would follow me to make sure I was really walking a full 5 kilometers."
In a good relationship, we do everything together...
Danny wanted to get married to his girlfriend, and in order to prepare for the change, he turned to his father to hear some relationship advice from him. "The most important thing you have to be prepared for is that in a good relationship you do everything together," the father said. "You mean we clean the house together, cook together, shop together and stuff?" asked Danny. "Absolutely not," the father replied. "When I say do things together, I mean she decides – and you agree. She wants – you give. She's talking—you're listening. She's wrong—you apologize!"
