This week’s parshah begins with the words “Eileh pekudei—These are the numbers of...” referring to all the materials used to build the Mishkan. In his sefer Likutei Torah, the Rebbe R’ Mottel Chernobyler ztz”l explains these words to mean, “Eileh—the Jewish People, pekudei (from the lashon “v’lo nifkad”)—those who are lacking something,” and notes that it is those Jews who are constantly aware that their service of Hashem is lacking and insufficient who will be motivated to improve and become part of the Mishkan.
Our homes are our Mishkan, and a husband and wife who see their own faults and are ready to try and improve will be able to build a Yiddishe home where Hashem’s Presence can dwell. In any relationship, no matter what the other person is doing wrong, there’s always something you can do to improve matters. Even if the only thing you’re doing wrong is allowing the other person to get away with their unacceptable behavior, you can still change yourself and influence the outcome.
Recently, I encountered someone who told me that listening to my shiurim, especially those that stress how a person can always do something to fix things, has made a huge difference in his home life. Whereas in the past he had been inclined to find faults in his wife and children, now he looks at himself, instead, and tries to see what he can do to improve matters. Sometimes it means calming down a cranky child; at other times it means giving his wife a compliment. At the end of the day, he as well as everyone else, is happier knowing that he can always find something to do that will be helpful.
