‘The Torah spoke concerning four sons’, as the author of the Haggadah arranged, ‘a wise one, a wicked one, a simple one, and one who is unable to ask’. We want to understand: Where are the four sons? Furthermore, what is the language of ‘concerning [keneged] four sons’, why not write ‘al’, the Torah spoke about four sons? Additionally, what if the father merited having more than four sons, we do not speak about them??
The truth is that on Pesach we do not lack anything that we cannot talk about, we have ‘It happened that Rebbe Eliezer, Rebbe Yehoshua, Rebbe Elazar ben Azaryah, Rebbe Akiva, and Rebbe Tarfon were reclining [at the seder] in Bnei Brak. They discussed the exodus from Egypt all that night until their students came and said to them, “Our teachers, it is time for the reading of the morning Shema”’. There is plenty to talk about, but we want to discuss something that will carry us over from Pesach for the whole year.
It is explained in the holy seforim that the author of the Haggadah is not referring specifically to four separate sons, rather, in truth, ‘keneged’ – ‘against’ four sons, for it is possible to have one son and his characteristics cause him to alternate between all four sons, every time he is someone else, one time wise, one time wicked, one time simple, and one time he is unable to ask. It is possible that this son is me myself, who changes from time to time, as every person who goes through various situations. Me and my son can face different situations, and we have to know how to cope with every situation.
And so, the answer is found by the question, we must be alert to all the changes that happen to us, and in every situation and for every question we must turn to the father and ask for his advice and direction, and by doing this we will be wiser. The mitzvah of 'והגדת לבנך' – ‘and you shall tell your son’ is incumbent on the father. He has to determine which situation his son is in now and he must adjust his understanding to match that situation. If he is in a situation of being unable to ask, then 'את פתח לו' – ‘you initiate for him’, patiently and carefully, to help him begin to be interested like helping a baby who is starting to take steps but does not know how to walk. Even if he finds him in the situation of wicked, even then the father must remember that he is still one of his sons and must know how to answer him. We are 'בנים אתם לה' אלוקיכם' – ‘sons to Hashem, your G-d’, and we also want Him to always listen to us in every situation, and also answer us.
-Tiv HaMoadim - Pesach
