The story is told about a Bachur who had to go to a very Treife area in Tel Aviv. He came back with lots of guilt, since it was very hard to be careful with Shmiras Einayim. He went to the Steipler Zatzal to complain about his Matzav. The Steipler Zatzal asked him if he tried once or twice to look away, and he said, "Yes". The Steipler Zatzal told him that he wants to stand up for him because of this.
Those who despite being in a low Matzav in Inyanei Kedusha still try to do that tiny bit, are Zoche to untold Zechusim. Of course, we need to avoid Nisyonos. When a person goes in the street and he watches his eyes, he gets tremendous Zechusim. For every person that he avoids looking at, he creates a: מַלְאָךְ מֵלִיץ defending angel who will defend him in the Olam HaEmes.
And if indeed, a person is Nichshal, Chas V'shalom, but he does Teshuva, then that very same wicked Malach which his sin created, and whose job it is to make him big trouble and talk against him in Olam HaBah, suddenly changes faces and he becomes a Teshuva Malach, i.e., your best friend who sticks up for you!
רָצָה הַקָדוֹש בָרוּךְ הוּא לְׂזַכוֹת אֶּת יִשְׂרָאֵל (Mishnah, end of Makkos) Hashem wants to give us more Zechusim! Some people complain that the Nisyonos of today’s streets and offices are too difficult for them. Actually, the: תְּׂקוּפָה time before Moshiach, the Yetzer Hara is almost "out of business", and he tries his best to get his last opportunity to destroy people. R' Matisyahu Solomon Zatzal said that our streets are worse than: טוּמְׂאַת מִצְׂרַיִם the Tum'ah of Mitzrayim, and a big Mekubal said that Manhattan has the low life Neshamos from the Dor HaMabul, Rachmana Litzlan.
This is precisely why our Zechusim are unbelievable. A Yungerman had his "game" by counting 55 opportunities to watch his eyes, just in the few minutes that he drives to work every day. Each time he looks away, he buys himself a giant: מַלְאָךְ מֵלִיץ defending angel. And when he falls and looks, Chas V'shalom, he can also get plenty of Schar for the pain that this gives him.
So every time you walk in the street, you get all kinds of great Zechusim. Nonetheless, it is still preferable to stay in Bais Medrash and learn as much as you can. There are plenty of stories where people became Gedolei Torah in the Zechus of their Shmiras Einayim. It is known that while you look away, it is a special time to daven, and you can ask for anything you wish.
R' Chaim Shmuelevitz Zatzal was seen walking in Mea She’arim facing the wall instead of the street. His glasses were off, and he had a Pachad in his face. I saw R' Shabsi Yudelevitch Zatzal walking in Boro Park, holding his glasses in his hands. A Yungerman was going on a trip with some very Chashuva Yidden. He didn't like the streets, but nobody took their glasses off. He asked his Rebbe, since he was embarrassed to be different and to remove his glasses.
His Rebbe said: "You have a choice. Either to feel better in Olam HaZeh since you're similar to everyone else, or you can be superior in Olam HaBah. Removing glasses can have a double Zechus; fighting against Ta'ava, and not needing approval from people. Risking your Kavod by being called a "frumie" can be the biggest Zechus in your life, similar to the story of R' Amram Chasida who gave himself tremendous: בוּשָה embarrassment in order not to be Nichshal. (Gemara).
For good reason Chazal called him “Chasida”. Watching your eyes can give you plenty of self-esteem, since you are in control and you feel like a Gibbor. When you look at what you shouldn’t see, you feel like a weak person. And look how Yosef HaTzaddik avoided the wife of Potiphar by saying אֵינֶּנוּ גָדוֹל בַבַיִת הַזֶּה מִמֶּּנִי (Bereishis 39:9) “I am the greatest person around here”. You keep saying: I'm too big to get involved in low-life activities.
And even when you are Nichshal you keep saying: "That was only temporary insanity and a: מוּם עוֹבֵר short-term illness. But the real me is all the way on top. It's not healthy to put yourself down. In Ma’ariv we say: וְהָסֵר שָֹטָן מִלְּׂפָנֵינוּ וּמֵאַחֲרֵינוּ please remove the Satan from “before” us and from “behind” us. What does “before” and “behind” mean? “Before” is the Satan that temps us to sin, and “behind” is the Satan that if we fall, makes us put ourselves down. שֶּבַע יִפוֹל צַדִיק וָקָם (Mishlei 24:16) A Tzaddik falls seven times, and gets up! We are only human, and all we have to do is try our best.
I know several people who used to be uncontrollable in Inyanei Kedusha, and today they are perfect, with Hashem’s help. A Yungerman told me that he has a severe addiction, and he can't control his eyes. I told him just to call me every other day, reporting to me his efforts to improve. This sounds like a simple Eitza, but it works wonders.
It's already about a month since he started, and he's altogether a new person. Every time he calls, he sounds happier and happier. The Seforim HaKedoshim say that the biggest Madrega is to have a struggle, even without being so successful. You are like a front liner in the army of Klal Yisroel, and through your struggles and suffering, you are making it easier for those very Tzaddikim that you envy so much!
Nobody is perfect, but during Parshas Pinchos the best thing to do is to daven to be more and more a true Pinchos, and less and less a Zimri. RSRH Zatzal says that Pinchos was manly and he was a man of courageous action while other people did nothing but cry. Being a man and a “Gavra” and a true mensch isn't easy, and it can be a lifetime of work.
Most people like staying in their “comfort mode”; it takes a Gadol to rise to occasion and to take risks in honor of Kavod Shamayim. Before Dovid was Niftar he told his son, Shlomo: וְחָזַקְתָּ וְהָיִיתָ לְאִיש (Melachim I 2:2) “Be a man!” (Dovid himself was loaded with giving-in and being "soft as butter", to the extent that people took advantage of him).
Shaul HaMelech was the extreme opposite; always suspecting that everyone was against him. Dovid was usually full of trust for people. Probably his great Madrega of Bitachon made him fearless and without worry. Also, Dovid had to break his Eisav-like nature. But by the way, he tells Shlomo: וְחָזַקְתָּ וְהָיִיתָ לְאִיש (Melachim I 2:2) “Be a man!”. We see that the true Dovid was plenty tough, since this is what he wanted his son to be like.
We have a lot to learn from Pinchos, and the main thing is to keep davening for even the smallest improvement. You can't always get the high Madrega that you're looking for so quickly, and you need to have patience with yourself. Just a drop more being a Pinchos and not a Zimri one step at a time, and don't be impressed when you get those big "dips" in Avodas Hashem; this is the name of the game. The main thing is just to be an Oved (true servant of Hashem) and to daven and try. And most important: appreciate your successes in Avodas Hashem.
Often, the best way to achieve Kedusha is by Ligging (being absorbed) in learning, Zikkui HaRabbim, or hard work. Some people succeed in Inyanei Kedusha because they are super-involved only in improving in these Inyanim.
