Giving and receiving can appear to be very simple concepts, but when we examine how relationships really work, we realize that they don’t necessarily happen the way we assume.
The Torah provides us with several examples of relationships where the giver and taker aren’t who we might think they are at first glance. In the case of a beggar asking a rich man for a donation, it seems obvious that the rich man is the giver and the poor man the taker. But on a deeper level, the beggar is giving more to the rich man than he is receiving — he’s providing him with the opportunity to give tzedakah, the satisfaction of doing a mitzvah, and the chance to overcome his challenges and perfect his character.
Chazal say something similar about a suckling calf: “More than the calf wants to drink, the mother wants to nurse it.” This dynamic is easy to see with our children, when the parents’ joy at giving is greater than the child’s joy at receiving whatever it is.
Interestingly, a king, who is the ultimate example of a “mashpia,” is, when you think about it, sitting on his throne and being served all day long. What does he actually give? It might not be something tangible, but it is extremely significant. A king provides leadership, guidance, clarity, a stable order, wisdom, and much more. He may not actually do very much, but his essence is one of giving, of influencing, of ruling and leading.
