If marriage is such an important commandment how is it that in these three weeks the rabbanim prevent people from getting married
Toras Avigdor | July 23, 2024
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If marriage is such an important commandment how is it that in these three weeks the rabbanim prevent people from getting married

Toras Avigdor | June 25, 2025

QUESTION
If marriage is such an important commandment, how is it that in these three weeks the rabbanim prevent people from getting married?

ANSWER
And the answer is אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני – If I shall forget Yerushalayim let my right hand forget its cunning, שמחתי אם לא אעלה ירושלים על ראש – my greatest happiness is nothing compared to my hope for Yerushalayim.

And therefore for three weeks we stop thinking about marriage and we think about Yerushalayim. It’s so important for us to spend time thinking about Yerushalayim. Not today’s Yerushalayim – about the ancient Yerushalayim we once had. אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני. To put those thoughts above our personal happiness! It’s one of the perfections we have to gain, to think of the days of old.

זכור ימות עולם – Remember the days of old, the greatness we once possessed.

It’s very important for Jews to know their history. We have a very, very wealthy history. We have to look back and enjoy the happiness of those generations and the memories that we have with us still today; it’s extremely important to study our past. And therefore, because our past is so important, it’s worth postponing a wedding for three weeks to achieve that perfection of remembering the days of old and what our nation once possessed.

TAPE # 792 (July 1990)

QUESTION
If marriage is such an important commandment, how is it that in these three weeks the rabbanim prevent people from getting married?

ANSWER
And the answer is אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני – If I shall forget Yerushalayim let my right hand forget its cunning, שמחתי אם לא אעלה ירושלים על ראש – my greatest happiness is nothing compared to my hope for Yerushalayim.

And therefore for three weeks we stop thinking about marriage and we think about Yerushalayim. It’s so important for us to spend time thinking about Yerushalayim. Not today’s Yerushalayim – about the ancient Yerushalayim we once had. אם אשכחך ירושלים תשכח ימיני. To put those thoughts above our personal happiness! It’s one of the perfections we have to gain, to think of the days of old.

זכור ימות עולם – Remember the days of old, the greatness we once possessed.

It’s very important for Jews to know their history. We have a very, very wealthy history. We have to look back and enjoy the happiness of those generations and the memories that we have with us still today; it’s extremely important to study our past. And therefore, because our past is so important, it’s worth postponing a wedding for three weeks to achieve that perfection of remembering the days of old and what our nation once possessed.

TAPE # 792 (July 1990)

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