“And when you (Moshe) have seen it (Ertez Yisrael), you too will be gathered to your people (pass away), just as Aharon your brother was gathered.” (Bamidbar 27:13)
Rashi, citing a Medrash, says that when the Passuk above says that Moshe would die like Aharon, we learn that Moshe yearned for a death like Aharon's. The Medrash, in its second explanation, says that wherever their (Bnei Yisrael’s) death is mentioned in the Torah, their sin on what caused them to die is also mentioned. Since the sin that was mentioned as the cause that a generation of Bnei Yisrael would die in the wilderness was their sin of not having faith on some level in Hashem by the sin of the golden calf, Moshe requested that when his death in the Torah is mentioned, that the sin that caused him to die be mentioned as well. He insisted on this so that it would not be said that he, too, was among those who died because he lacked faith on some level by the sin of the golden calf.
Why would Moshe want his sin (of hitting the rock rather than speaking to it) to be called out? The Medrash above says that the reason is so others would not say he died for the same reason as the rest of the generation, but who would honestly think that about Moshe? Perhaps a few, small minded people of low character might think that of him, but the vast majority would not.
We can learn two important lessons from Moshe’s behavior. The first is that we must all have the courage to own our own failings. Even one as great as Moshe, admitted and wanted recorded in the Torah for all time, a failing of his.
The second lesson to be learned, is that we must be wary of even small possibilities of Chillul Hashem. Moshe was worried that if anyone would say that he passed away for the same reason as the rest of the generation (lack of faith in Hashem by the sin of the golden calf) then that would be a Chillul Hashem that cannot be allowed to happen, even if only a few people may say that about him. Accordingly, he humbly admitted and insisted on recording his less severe sin so that no Chillul Hashem would ensue.
There is a concept known as “too big to fail” – that certain people should not admit their mistakes because what will people think of them and the ideals that they stand for? In other words, there is too much risk that if people who have grown too big and are now admired by so many, admit that they are fallible, then people will begin to doubt them and the ideals that they stand for. We see from Moshe who was as big as they come, that one must admit one’s mistakes and especially when it comes to preventing a Chillul Hashem.
When we are honest about our own shortcomings, we can create a more forgiving environment where others feel safe to acknowledge their own shortcomings. This leads to its own type of Kiddush Hashem as it shows the world that Torah and its lifestyle produce people of genuine integrity who care more about truth than about their own reputations.
