Little Avrumy was only four years old, full of life and energy. He was always running, jumping, climbing, and checking out everything around him. Like many little children, he did not always realize that his excitement could sometimes lead to trouble.
Every day was a new adventure. Sometimes a toy would fall, a cup would spill, and once in a while, something in the house would accidentally break. It was never on purpose. Avrumy was a sweet child, but he was still only four years old and learning about the world around him. Whenever something broke, the family would often smile and say, "It must have been little Avrumy again." It almost became a joke in the house because everyone knew how active he was.
One afternoon, Avrumy's mother was busy cleaning the house. She wanted to finish everything before her husband, Ari, came home. While cleaning the office, she moved some things around on the desk. When she mistakenly pushed the printer, it slipped and fell to the floor. She quickly picked it up, hoping it was okay, but it was damaged. It was an expensive new printer, and she knew her husband would be upset.
When Ari came home, he noticed the printer and asked, "What happened to the printer?" Without thinking much, his wife answered, "You know, little Avrumy..." Later that evening, she started feeling bad about what she had done. She knew the printer broke because of her. Now she wondered if she was allowed to lie to keep the peace in the home and wanted to know what the Torah says about a case like this.
Who To Ask?
Of course to R' Yitzchak Zilberstein Shlita! Who makes Torah Learning so sweet & geshmak!!!
We do find that one is allowed, and sometimes supposed to lie, for the sake of peace.
- We find that when Rochel had her first child, Yosef, she said, "Now Hashem removed my shame from me," meaning that now she had someone to blame if her husband asked who broke this tool, or who ate up the figs. Your son did it. (See midrash). This is one proof that one is allowed to lie for the sake of peace between husband and wife.
- We find that Hashem himself colored the truth to keep the peace. When Sarah was told she would have a child, she said, "But my husband is old." But when Hashem repeated this to Avraham, he said, "Why did Sarah say 'she' is old? (Yevamos 65b)." For the sake of peace, Hashem didn't say that she said "he's" old.
- But this is only okay if one can blame the child when the child is still very young and does not understand the difference between a lie and the truth. Because if the child is old enough, one cannot blame him, so he should not learn that lying is okay and get used to doing it.
- Also, one should not blame the child if the child will be hurt or punished because of it. (See Titein Emes L'Yaakov)
In Short: One is allowed to lie to keep peace, provided the child is young enough not to learn to lie from you, and also that he will not be punished as a result of the lie.
