Dear Alumni Sheyichyu!
Sholom U’Brocho!
Mazel Tov to Ephraim Carlbach on the occasion of his engagement. Mazel Tov to Shmully Goldstein on the occasion of his engagement. Mazel Tov to Yanky Gittler on the occasion of his engagement. May they use out the special period of Yokor Mikol yokor to its’ utmost! Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Avremel Zaltzman on the birth of their son. A belated Mazel Tov to Rabbi & Mrs. Yechiel Schmerling on the birth of their daughter. May they bring them up lTOveCHuMAA”T mitoch harchovo, and to be a true chayol! Mazel Tov to Rabbi an Mrs. Boruch Merkur on the bar Mitzva of their son, may he be a CHaYoL and bring them much nachas! (If anyone is aware of any mazeltov’s that I omitted please let me know).
Thank you as always for the feedback, it is much appreciated.
The following story (like the one in the previous e-mail) I read recently in a teshura written by Rabbi Levi Bukiet of Ill. (anyone in possession of this teshura can fill in the details that I have since forgotten):
There was a Lubavitcher yungerman, we’ll call him Yossel, who had a neighbor and acquaintance who was of Hungarian descent, who – since the war – had become lax in his practice of Yiddishkeit. This neighbor was planning a simcha in his family – his daughter was soon to be wed – and he approached Yossel to ask if he could arrange for him a yechidus by the Rebbe. Yossel was surprised, not knowing his neighbor to be of the Rebbe-frequenting type; nonetheless, he was, of course, happy to oblige, and scheduled a yechidus for a few weeks hence.
A few weeks later, Yossel suddenly received a very curious phone call from the mazkirus of the Rebbe: “The gentleman for whom you arranged a yechidus did not complete his yechidus, he left, abruptly, in the middle. We are also calling to inform you that there is a check for this individual that he can pick up from our office”.
Yossel was, understandably, intrigued, and immediately set out to locate his acquaintance, in an effort to get to this bottom of this bizarre story. When he found him, and went into the room to speak to him, the fellow took one look at Yossel and burst into tears. “Your Rebbe”, he exclaimed passionately, “is like no other!”, and he proceeded to share the following remarkable experience.
“A you know, I am the proud father of 3, the oldest of whom is destined to get married in the near future. What you are, surely, unaware of, is the fact that recently my business suffered several significant setbacks, leaving me in debt, and overwhelmed by the financial burden of the upcoming wedding.
“Knowing from my pre-war experiences about the Chassidic way of dealing with difficulty, I decided that I would have no recourse but to approach all of the Rebbes, and beg for their assistance. I wrote a kvittel, describing the difficulty in which I find myself, and, armed with it, I proceeded to the doors of all of the prominent Jewish leaders in the country. However, in order to increase the impact of my story, I altered the facts slightly. Believing that being the father of a larger family would elicit more sympathy, I described myself as a father of 10 rather than three, and, in my kvittel, I added 7 bogus names to the 3 genuine ones of my existing children.
“Armed with this kvittel I made the rounds of all of the Rebbes (and here he proceeded to list for Yossel the names of all of the Rebbes then in America), and all of them expressed their sympathy and made some contribution.
“When I came to your Rebbe, however, I was in for the shack of my life. As I was sitting in the room, and he was reading my kvittel, as soon as he finished reading the first 3 names, he pointed to the remaining seven, and, turning to me, asked ‘ver zennen zei’ [and who are they]?!!’
I was so overcome with an intense feeling of shame at having been exposed, that I could not contain myself, and ran from the room!”
It is, undoubtedly, a beautiful and powerful story, with an obvious lesson (one shouldn’t attempt to fool a Rebbe), but every story has numerous lessons, and perhaps it can also raise the following thoughts:
You’re in yechidus, experiencing the union between your own essence, your own yechida shebinefesh, and the yechida haklolis – the Rebbe. You’re in yechidus requesting brochos for all that is needed in every area for yourself and for the members of your family. Suddenly the Rebbe points to some of the members of your family and says “who are they”. As Yaakov said to Yosef (when he came to him with his own son’s requesting a brocho) “mi eileh”; - ‘Who are they’, I don’t recognize them as being part of the family, of being worthy of my brocho.
This would surely be the most unnerving experience imaginable. It was unsettling for Yosef HaTzaddik, who had to urgently daven to Hashem to correct it (as Rashi says in the beginning of Parshas Vayechi). And it would likewise be most disturbing for any of us to be informed that the child that we’re presenting as a part of the family is not recognized as such!
What would prevent our child from being recognized? Surely a superficial disguise would not confuse a Rebbe, who is focused more on the neshomo than on it’s external garments! Rather, as was the case with the grandchildren of Yaakov Ovinu, it would only be a spiritual distortion or blemish that would detract from one’s recognizability in such circumstances (gotta teach the spell-check some new words every once in a while). Simply stated: is my child behaving like a member of the “family”? Am I bringing him up as one, that will be immediately recognized as an additional link in the ongoing chain from Yaakov Ovinu, or ch”v not?
The same applies to each one of us for ourselves as well (including those who are not yet parents, and don’t relate with the above in it’s most literal sense). Certainly not one of us wants to be in the most uncomfortable situation in which we ourselves are unrecognized. The only way to address this is by ensuring that my own lifestyle remains loyal to my legacy.
This is especially relevant in the summer, when we – and our children – are surrounded by so many powerful forces that pull us in the opposite direction, and we have enough free time to notice them. We have to remember, as Yosef did when faced with the temptation of eishes poitifar, that certain actions may affect our status in ‘the family’. Simply put, can we expect a child that’s drowning in DVD’s, influenced by internet, attacked by trash-filled ipods, and/or exposed to amusement parks and the like, to be readily recognized – after all of that – as a member in good standing of the clan? If we truly want to avoid the embarrassing experience of being challenged with the question “mi eileh” – “un ver zennen zei”, then we have to take the greatest pains to make sure that our children are not put into any situations that can jeopardize this standing.
It is definitely very challenging in our society, to deprive our children of what they view as – not a luxury, but – a basic necessity of life. Yet, we have to be constantly conscious of what’s at stake, and never for a moment let down our guard against those forces that threaten what is most precious to us.
Chazal tell us that “toldoiseihem shel tzaddikim” – the children of tzaddikim (and every single Jew is considered a tzaddik) – are their “maasim toivim”, their deeds. Thus, this lesson is applicable with regards to specific deeds as well. Perhaps you are overall a chassidishe bochur, during the year you meticulously adhere to the sedorim and all of the rules, and your learning and davening are exceptional. But, come the summer months (whether in camp or in the camp asher bechol echad ve’echad), and you put on your Purim costume, and chill out a little bit (to unwind after such a hard year)
Don’t worry, the costume itself won’t mislead the Rebbe; and if it is indeed being used as a tool to excite Jewish children and increase their Yiddishkeit and chassiddishkeit, then you will get additional credits for it. But, a permissive attitude in your life ch”v, such as (in a hypothetical situation) spending toichen-less hours in front of a bar-b-que fressing like a beheimah and talking words so empty that they are not even deserving of the title deva”t, that can ch”v jeopardize your recognizability.
Lest I be accused of writing this now because I’m too impatient to wait with this story until vayechi, I will very briefly point out the connection with this week’s parsha: When Pinchas carried out his act of extreme zealousness, he was accused of merely catering to the baser instincts that he had inherited from his less-worthy ancestors. ‘You were quick to kill a prince’, they said, ‘not because you care about the honor of Hashem more than the rest of us, but because of the streak of cruelty that reached you from your maternal grandfather, who engaged in the cruel practice of fattening up animals with the ultimate intention of slaughtering them’.
The Eibishter Himself, therefore, corrected this misconception. Pinchas’ act, He testified in His holy Torah, did not stem from cruelty or callousness, but, rather, from the extreme love and kindness that he inherited from his paternal grandfather Aharon (see at great length Likutei Sichos 8).
In the summer it is not uncommon for people to suddenly become unrecognizable, in more ways than one, as they shed their attire of the year to exchange it with a summer one. And, while the Rebbe teaches us in the above sicha that, with regards to others we must always judge favorably and assume that it is their purest motives and instincts that are coming to play, with regards to ourselves we may need to be more demanding and exacting. While we should never diminish or detract from any good things that we do (especially things that have any chance – even a slight one – of being beneficial to someone else (like writing these crazy e-mails in the middle of the night;)), we do have to assess and analyze some of our accompanying practices.
Whether in camp, in Yeshivas kayitz, in the bungalow colony, or at summer vacation, we have to carefully and meticulously sort through all of our actions, and determine which of them are worthy descendents of Aharon Hakohen, and which may perchance stem from some other less-worthy ancestor.
And make sure that we are joined only with those that can be proudly recognized as part of the family!
L’chaim! May we put in that little bit of extra effort to ensure that our behavior during the summer is as it should be, and may we speedily greet the Rebbe, when he is proudly able to declare, both regarding our physical children, our students (campers etc.) and our deeds of Torah umitzvos “Re’u Gidulim shegidalti”, and may this take place TUMYM!!!
Rabbi Akiva Wagner
Lzchus R’ Sholom Mordechai Halevi ben Rivka l’geulah v’yeshua krova v’shleima, u’lzchus hashliach R’ Tzvi ben Tzirel l’refuah krova v’shleima.
